Lent gave way to Easter, and Easter melted into the season, and Mrs.
Courtenay gave a little dinner-party, at which John was one of the
guests; and Madeleine was presented on her marriage; and Di had two new
gowns, and renovated an old one, and nearly broke Lord Hemsworth's heart
by refusing the box-seat on his drag at the meeting of the Four-in-hand;
and Lord Hemsworth did not invest in the bay mare with the white
stocking, but turned heaven and earth to find another with black points,
and succeeded, only to drive in lonely bitterness to the meet. And John
was to have been there also, but he had been so severely injured in a
fire which broke out at his lodgings, in the room below his, three weeks
before, that he was still lying helpless at the house in Park Lane,
which he had lent to his aunt, Miss Fane, and whither he was at once
taken, after the accident, to struggle slowly back to life and painful
convalescence.
For the last three weeks, since the fire, hardly any one had seen
Colonel Tempest. The old horror had laid hold upon him like a mortal
sickness. Sleep had left him. Remorse looked at him out of the eyes of
the passers in the street. There was no refuge. He avoided his club.
What might he not hear there! What might not have happened in the night!
He could trust himself to go nowhere for fear of his face betraying
him. He wandered aimlessly out in the evenings in the lonelier portions
of the Park. Sometimes he would stop his loitering, to follow with
momentary interest the children sailing their boats on the Round Pond,
and then look up and see the veiled London sunset watching him from
behind Kensington Palace, and turn away with a guilty sense of
detection. The aimless days and waking ghosts of nights came and went,
came and went, until his misery became greater than he could bear. The
resolutions of the weak are as much the result of the period of feeble,
apathetic inertia that precedes them, as the resolutions of the strong
are the outcome of earnest reflection and mental travail.
"It will kill me if it goes on," he said to himself. There was one way,
and one only, by means of which this intolerable weight might be shifted
from his shoulders. He hung back many days. He said he could not do
_that_, anything but _that_--and then he did it.
His heart beat painfully as he turned his steps towards Park Lane, and
he hesitated many minutes before he mounted the steps and rang the bell
at the familiar door of the Tempest town-house, where his father had
lived during the session, where his mother had spent the last years of
her life after his death.
It was an old-fashioned house. The iron rings into which the links used
to be thrust still flanked the ponderous doorway, together with the
massive extinguisher.
The servant informed him that Mr. Tempest had been out of danger for
some days, but was not seeing any one at present.
"Ask if he will see me," said Colonel Tempest, hoarsely. "Say I am
waiting."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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