Dilemmas of Pride, (Vol 1 of 3)Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
General
Dilemmas of Pride, (Vol 1 of 3)
Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
Fiction
"Those tears are not caused by caprice," he said in a tone of
tenderness; "in compassion say," he added with sudden and vehement
earnestness, "that you are acting in obedience to Lady Palliser's
commands, and I too will submit." While speaking again he sank on his
knee before her, and tried to take both her hands. The terror however
with which she resisted, hastily rising as she did so--the more
effectually to avoid him--so much for the moment resembled aversion,
that he rose as hastily, and looking his amazement, said with a
hysterical intonation of voice, "If it is indeed so, I have a thousand
apologies to offer to Lady Caroline Montague for my impertinent
intrusiveness. To retire, however, and offend no more, will perhaps be
better than entering further into the subject." He was about to depart,
when pausing he said, "I will ask one question--Am I rejected? Do you
finally withdraw the hopes you yesterday bestowed?"
"I do," she replied.
He stood for a few moments to master his emotion, then pronouncing a
haughty good morning, hastily quitted the room and the house. In a few
moments after, he was pacing, without plan or intention, one of the many
shady and usually quite solitary walks, which branch off in every
direction from the general scene of gaiety, and near to which both
villas stood.
His pride, as well as every tenderer and worthier feeling, was wounded
beyond description. He now appeared, even to himself, in the light of
one who had indelicately, unfeelingly, and presumptuously sought a match
of worldly advantage, to which he had no pretension; and though he
could acquit himself of interested views in so doing, he felt that it
would be a romance and absurdity to expect so candid an interpretation
from any one else. The one continued dream, which had made up his whole
existence for many weeks past, was now dissipated in an instant. Nay, he
sought in vain among his own meditations for the apologies, even to
himself, which had before seemed sufficient. Caroline, so silent, so
fearful at the commencement of their acquaintance, had seemed to derive
a new existence from his growing attentions, while Lady Palliser,
instead of checking those attentions, and showing alarm at the visible
pleasure with which her daughter received them, had herself given him
what he then considered the most unequivocal encouragement, being always
the first to make intercourse easy to both, by desiring the always
timid Caroline to dance with him, walk with him, and sing with him. And
then the silent glow of secret pleasure with which the welcome command
was obeyed, confirmed sometimes perhaps by a momentary expression caught
when the eyes accidentally met, or at other times merely by an alacrity
of movement, or cheerfulness of tone in obeying or replying, which,
notwithstanding, betrayed volumes in a character too fearful and gentle
to let itself be regularly read aloud, yet too artless, too unpractised,
to know how utterly to seal its pages.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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