Dilemmas of Pride, (Vol 1 of 3)Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
General
Dilemmas of Pride, (Vol 1 of 3)
Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
Fiction
Such was the person with whom poor Caroline had hitherto spent every
domestic hour she could remember. Her home, which had thus never been a
happy one, now by contrast with the vague hopes in which she had
latterly ventured to indulge, presented to her imagination a long
perspective of tenfold dreariness. The frowns in private, the artificial
smiles in public of her unkind parent, were all that she anticipated in
future. Her very youth seemed an aggravation of her misery, for the
grave itself, which, in her present exaggerated and hopeless state of
feeling, was she believed, the only refuge to which she could look
forward, appeared at an immeasurable distance, the path to it stretching
before her mind's eye an interminable pilgrimage of weariness.
We do not mean to support these views of the subject as rational or
just; but Caroline in experience and knowledge of the world, as well as
in chancery phraseology, was still an infant; even her love had at
present something in it of the feelings of the child turning to the kind
and gentle, as a refuge from the harshness of the more severe; and with
the idea of Alfred was blended thoughts of his sisters and of Lady
Arden, and of their happy home--that scene of cheerfulness and general
goodwill, which she had latterly enjoyed the privilege of entering
without ceremony, and which she had never quitted without regret.
The most severe, however, of all her sufferings was the thought that
Alfred must now hate and despise her.
She was shut up in her own apartment weeping bitterly and giving way to
a succession of dreary reflections, when she received a summons from her
mother to appear in the drawing-room. So much was she accustomed to
obey implicitly that she did not dare to excuse herself.
On descending, she found with Lady Palliser, Sir Willoughby Arden and
his cousin Geoffery. Willoughby was turning over new songs and
professing himself a great admirer of music; the true secret of which
was that he sang remarkably well himself. After some trivial
conversation, he discovered several duets in which he had often taken a
part with his sisters, and intreated that Caroline would try one of
them. She excused herself on the plea of a headache caused by the music,
lights, and late hours of the previous evening; but Lady Palliser
interfering, she was compelled to make a wretched attempt; the manner
spiritless, the voice tremulous and even out of tune. Willoughby's
performance, however, was really good; he was therefore quite
delighted. As the song was being concluded, Lady and the Misses Arden
came in, and the latter being prevailed on to assist Willoughby with
some more of his favourite duets, the visit was prolonged into quite a
morning concert.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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