As she spoke thus, she read aloud many endearing expressions of his. And now she would lament and caress the letters and again fall before his images and do them reverence. She kept turning her eyes toward Caesar, and melodiously continued to bewail her fate. She spoke in melting tones, saying at one time, "Of what avail, Caesar, are these your letters? ," and at another, "But in the man before me you also are alive for me." Then again, "Would that I had died before you! ," and still again, "But if I have him, I have you!" Some such diversity both of words and of gestures did she employ, at the same time gazing at and murmuring to him sweetly. Caesar comprehended her outbreak of passion and appeal for sympathy. Yet he did not pretend to do so, but letting his eyes rest upon the ground, he said only this: "Be of cheer, woman, and keep a good heart, for no harm shall befall you." She was distressed that he would neither look at her nor breathe a word about the kingdom or any sigh of love, and fell at his knees wailing: "Life for me, Caesar, is neither desirable nor possible. This favor I beseech of you in memory of your father,--that since Heaven gave me to Antony after him, I may also die with my lord. Would that I had perished on the very instant after Caesar's death! But since this present fate was my destiny, send me to Antony: grudge me not burial with him, that as I die because of him, so in Hades also I may dwell with him." [-13-] Such words she uttered expecting to obtain commiseration: Caesar, however, made no answer to it. Fearing, however, that she might make away with herself he exhorted her again to be of good cheer, did not remove any of her attendants, and kept a careful watch upon her, that she might add brilliance to his triumph. Suspecting this, and regarding it as worse than innumerable deaths, she began to desire really to die and begged Caesar frequently that she might be allowed to perish in some way, and devised many plans by herself. When she could accomplish nothing, she feigned to change her mind and to repose great hope in him, as well as great hope in Livia. She said she would sail voluntarily and made ready many treasured adornments as gifts. In this way she hoped to inspire confidence that she had no designs upon herself, and so be more free from scrutiny and bring about her destruction. This also took place. The other officials and Epaphroditus, to whom she had been committed, believed that her state of mind was really as it seemed, and neglected to keep a careful watch. She, meanwhile, was making preparations to die as painlessly as possible. First she gave a sealed paper, in which she begged Caesar to order that she be buried beside Antony, to Epaphroditus himself to deliver, pretending that it contained some other matter. Having by this excuse freed herself of his presence, she set to her task. She put on her most beauteous apparel and after choosing a most becoming