Christian life; Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Young women -- Conduct of life -- Fiction
And now his praise burst upon me from every quarter. Those who affected
intimacy with the great, retailed it as the private sentiment of
ministers and princes. Our political augurs foretold his rise to the
highest dignities of the state. Those who love to give advice were eager
that he should forsake his humbler profession, and devote his
extraordinary talents to the good of his country. The newspapers
panegyrised him; and fashion, rank, and beauty, crowded round the happy
few who could give information concerning the age, manners, and
appearance of Mr Maitland. Not all his wisdom, nor all his worth, could
ever have moved my vain mind so much as did these tributes of applause,
from persons unqualified to estimate either. When I heard admiration
dwell upon his name, my heart bounded at the recollection of the
'interest' which he had expressed in me; and again I wondered whether
that interest were love? I would have given a universe to be able to
answer 'yes.' To see the eye which could penetrate the soul hang captive
on a glance of mine!--to hear the voice which could awe a senate falter
when it spoke to me!--to feel the hand which was judged worthy to hold
the helm of state tremble at my touch!--the very thought was
inspiration. Let not the forgiving smile which belongs to the innocent
weakness of nature be lavished on a vice which leads to such cold, such
heartless selfishness. Let it rather be remembered that avarice,
oppression, cruelty, all the iron vices which harden the heart of man,
are not more rigidly selfish, more wantonly regardless of another's
feelings, than unrestrained, active vanity.
Meanwhile, Mr Maitland allowed me abundant opportunities for
observation. Instead of withdrawing from us after Miss Mortimer's
departure, as I feared he would, he visited us more frequently than
ever. He sometimes breakfasted with us in his way to the city; often
returned when the House adjourned in the evening; and in short seemed
inclined to spend with us the greater part of his few abstemious hours
of leisure. Yet even my vanity could trace nothing in his behaviour
which might explain this constant attendance. On the contrary, his
manner, often cold, was sometimes even severe. He was naturally far from
being morose; and often casting off the cares of business, he would
catch infectious spirits from my lightness of heart; yet even in those
moments, somewhat painful would not unfrequently appear to cross his
mind, and he would turn from me as if half in sorrow, half in anger. I
could perceive that he listened with interest when I spoke; but that
interest seemed of no pleasing kind. He often, indeed, looked amused,
but seldom approving; and if once or twice I caught a more tender
glance, it was one of such mournful kindness as less resembled love than
compassion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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