Christian life; Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Young women -- Conduct of life -- Fiction
He probably read vexation in my face, though he ascribed it to a wrong
cause. 'I see,' said he, in a tone of mortification, 'that this is a
degree of confidence which I must not expect. Perhaps you will suffer me
to mention the matter to Miss Mortimer--she I am sure will allow me to
be her banker for any sum you may require.'
Shame on the heartless being who could see in this delicate kindness
only a triumph for the most despicable vanity! In vain did Maitland veil
his interest under the semblance of friendship. Seeing, and glorying to
see, that passion lurked under the disguise, I could not restrain my
impatience to force the mask away. I thanked Maitland, but told him that
the delay of a few weeks could be of little importance; adding, gaily,
that I fancied Lord Frederick was in no haste for payment; and would
prefer the right of a creditor over the liberty of his debtor.
Maitland almost shuddered. 'Can you jest upon such a subject?' said he.
The expression of uneasiness which crossed his features only encouraged
me to proceed. 'No, really,' said I, with affected seriousness, 'I am
quite in earnest. One day or other I suppose I must give somebody a
right to me, and it may as well be Lord Frederick as another. Marriage
will be at best but a heartless business to me--Heigho!'
'I hope it will be otherwise,' said Maitland, with a sigh not quite so
audible as mine, but a little more sincere.
'No, no,' said I, sighing again, 'love is out of the question with me.
The creatures that dangle after me want either a toy upon which to throw
away their money, or money to throw away upon their toys. A heart would
be quite lost upon any of them. If, indeed, a man of sense and worth had
attached himself to me,--a man with sincerity enough to tell me my
faults,--with gentleness to do it kindly,--with--with something in his
character, perhaps in his manners, to secure respect,--he might
have--have found me not incapable of--of an animated--I mean of a--a
very respectful friendship.'
I could not utter this last sentence without palpable emotion. Nature,
which had done much to unfit me for deliberate coquetry, faltered in my
voice; and stained my cheek with burning blushes. In the confusion which
I had brought upon myself, I should have utterly forgotten to watch the
success of my experiment, had not my attention been drawn by the tremor
of Maitland's hand. I ventured, thus encouraged, to steal a glance at
his countenance.
His eye was fixed upon me with a keenness which seemed to search my very
soul. Deep glowing crimson flushed his face. It was only for a moment.
His colour instantly fading to more than its natural paleness, he almost
threw from him the hand which he had held. 'Oh, Ellen!' he cried in a
tone of bitter reproach, 'how can you! suspecting, as I see you do, the
power of your witchery over me, how can you!--Others might despise my
weakness--I myself despise it--but with you it should have been sacred!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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