Christian life; Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Young women -- Conduct of life -- Fiction
Nothing is more important in its issue, nothing more dull in relation,
than a life of quiet and regular employment. A narrative of my first
year's residence with Miss Mortimer would be a mere detail of feelings
and reflections, mixed with confessions of a thousand instances of
rashness, impatience, and pride. My original blemishes were still
conspicuous enough to establish my identity; yet one momentous change
had taken place, for those blemishes were no longer unobserved or
wilful. I had become more afraid of erring than of seeing my
error,--more anxious to escape from my faults than from my conscience.
Not that her rebukes were become more gentle: on the contrary, an
unutterable sense of depravity and ingratitude was added to my
self-accusings; for, in receiving the forgiveness of a father, I had
awakened to the feelings of a child, and in every act of disobedience I
sinned against all the affections of my soul. Let it not be objected to
religion, if my judgment was disproportioned to the force of sentiments
like these; and if, though no devotion can be extravagant in its degree,
mine was sometimes indiscreet in its expression. The fault lay in my
education, not in my faith. Christianity justly claims for her own the
'spirit of a sound mind;' but that spirit dwells most frequently with
those whose devout feelings have been accustomed to find their chief
vent in virtuous actions.
My walk happened one day to lead near a dissenting chapel; and the
eagerness to hear which characterises recent converts made me join the
multitude who thronged the entrance. 'The truth,' thought I, 'is
despised by the gay and the giddy; but to me it shall be welcome, come
when it will.' Was there nothing pharisaical in the temper of this
welcome? In spite, however, of the liberality for which I was applauding
myself, my expectations were influenced by my early prejudices; and I
presupposed the preacher, zealous indeed, but loud, stern, and
inelegant. Surprise, therefore, added force to my impressions. The
unadorned pulpit was occupied by a youth not yet in his prime, nor
destined, as it seemed, ever to reach that period. The bloom of youth
had given place in his countenance to a wandering glow, that came and
went with the mind's or the body's fever. His bright blue eyes--now cast
down in humility, now flashing with rapturous hope--had never shone with
less gentle fires. His manner had the mild seriousness of entreaty,--his
composition the careless vigour of genius; or rather the eloquence of
one, who, feeling the essential glory of truth, thinks not of decking
her with tinsel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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