Christian life; Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Young women -- Conduct of life -- Fiction
The shop was full of gay company; but one figure alone fixed my
attention. It was that of my heartless friend. I recoiled like one who
treads upon a serpent. My first impulse was to fly; but ere I had time
to retreat, a deadly sickness arrested my steps; and I stood motionless
and crouching towards the earth, as if struck by the power of the
basilisk. A person belonging to the shop, who came to enquire my
commands, seeing me, I suppose, ready to sink, offered me a chair; upon
which I unconsciously dropped, still unable to withdraw my gaze from my
apostate friend. Presently I almost started from my seat as her eye met
mine. Her deepening colour alone told that she recognized me; for she
instantly turned away.
Indignation now began to displace the stupor which had seized me. 'Shall
I let this unfeeling creature see,' thought I, 'that she has power to
move me thus? Or shall I tamely slink away, as if it were I who should
dread the glance of reproach?--as if it were I who had stabbed the heart
which trusted me?' My breast swelling with pain, pride, and resentment,
I arose; and walking across the shop with steps as stately as if I had
been about to purchase all the splendours it contained, I began to
transact the business which brought me thither. My attention, however,
was so much pre-occupied, that I was scarcely sensible of surprise when
the jeweller named five-and-twenty pounds as the price of my ring; a sum
less than one third of what I had expected.
I now perceived that Miss Arnold accompanied Lady Maria de Burgh. They
talked familiarly together, and I was probably their subject; for Lady
Maria stared full upon me, though her companion did not venture another
glance towards the spot where I stood. Not satisfied with her arrogant
scrutiny, Lady Maria, as if curious to know whether I were the buyer or
the seller, made some pretence for approaching close to me, though
without any sign of recognition. I had a hundred times abjured my enmity
to Lady Maria. I had wept over it as ungrateful, unchristian. In
cool-blooded solitude I had vowed a hundred times, that, having been
forgiven a debt of ten thousand talents, I would never more wrangle for
trifles with my fellow-servants. But when I was fretted with the insults
of strangers, and sore with the unkindness of my early friend, when
perhaps my pride was wounded by the circumstances in which she was about
to detect me, her Ladyship's little impertinence, attacking me on the
weak side, stirred at once the gall of my temper. Suspending a bargain
which, indeed, I did not wish her to witness, 'Pray,' said I to the
shopman, 'attend in the first place to that lady's business; if indeed
she has any except to pry into mine.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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