Christian life; Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Young women -- Conduct of life -- Fiction
'Of what?' thought I, when I reached this provoking interruption,--and I
too began to dream. 'Does he still love me?' I asked myself. 'Can the
grave, wise Mr Maitland still remember the rosy cheek and the long black
eyelashes? Can he do no more than fly from his bane, but long after it
still?' In spite of the regulations under which I had laid my heart,--in
spite of the sorrow which weighed heavily upon it, the spirit of Ellen
Percy fluttered in it for a moment. 'But why should I smile at his
weakness, though I am myself exempt from that strange whim called love.
Yes, certainly, for ever exempt. I have not withstood Maitland to be won
by the monkey tricks and mawkish commonplace of ordinary men. "Power
over his happiness!" But for this strange coldness of heart, and my own
unpardonable folly, I might have made him happy. But that is all over
now. Now I can only wish and pray for his happiness. And if it be
necessary to his peace that he forget me, I will pray that he may. No
one heart on earth will then, indeed, beat warm to me; but the earth and
all that it contains will soon pass away.'--And I shed some tears either
over the transitory nature of all things here below, or over some
reflection not quite so well defined.
Having perused the mutilated letter more than once, and finding my
curiosity rather stimulated than gratified by the perusal, I certainly
did not relax in the diligence with which I examined my friend's
repositories. But I could not discover one line from Mr Maitland of a
later date than six months before the death of Miss Mortimer; and I
recollected, that though she regularly received his letters, and
affected no mystery in regard to them, she never desired me to read
them, but often in my presence destroyed them with her own hand. For the
preservation of the fragment I seemed indebted to accident alone; and I
more than half suspected, that Mr Maitland's later correspondence had
purposely been concealed from the one who formed its principal subject.
I wondered at my friend's caution. 'Could she know me so little,'
thought I, 'as to fear that I should be infected by this folly of
Maitland's?--That I should be won by this involuntary second-hand sort
of courtship?--That I should be mean enough to like a man who in a
manner rejected me?' But whatever was the motive of Miss Mortimer's
caution, she had left no indication of Mr Maitland's present sentiments
towards me; nor any clue by which I could trace to him the source of my
unexpected wealth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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