Christian life; Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Young women -- Conduct of life -- Fiction
My new place of confinement, though somewhat larger and better furnished
than the first, was equally contrived to prevent all chance of escape.
But I quickly discovered that I had, by the change, gained a treasure,
which, whoever would estimate, must like me be cut off from the
sympathies of living being. A swallow had built her nest in my window. I
saw her feed her nurslings day by day. I watched her leaving her nest,
and longed for her return. Her twittering awoke me every morning; and I
knew the chirp which invited her young to the food she had brought.
Their first flight was an event in my life as well as in theirs; for the
interests of kindred are scarcely stronger than those which we take in
the single living thing, however mean, whose feelings we can make our
own.
Meanwhile I learnt from the keeper that the person to whose humanity I
owed the improvement in my situation was the surgeon who attended the
institution; and I looked forward to his next visit with all the
eagerness of hope. Remembering, however, the dependence he had shown on
the keeper's information, I became doubly anxious to remove the
impression which I saw was entertained against the soundness of my mind.
Alas! I forgot that it is not for the prejudiced eye to detect the
almost imperceptible bound which separates soundness of mind from
insanity.
'You assure me,' said I, one day, to my inexorable gaoler, 'that you
have no instructions to detain me here, and you promise that I shall be
dismissed the moment I am well: tell me how you propose to ascertain my
recovery.'
'Oh, no fear but I shall know that before you know it yourself.'
'But what reason have you to doubt that I am already in perfect
possession of my senses? I speak rationally enough.'
'Oh ay, I can't say but you have spoken rationally enough these three or
four days. They all do that, at times.'
'What other proof of my recovery can you expect? Here I have no means of
proving it by my actions.'
'Well, well. We'll see one of these days.'
'But if it be true that you have no wish to detain me, why must I linger
on in this place of horror? Put me to any proof you will. Propose, for
instance, the most complicated question in arithmetic to me; and see
whether I do not answer it like a rational creature.'
'I make no doubt. We have a gentleman here these fourteen years, that
works at the counting from morning to night.'
'Fourteen years! Good Heavens!--Oh try me for mercy's sake in any way
you please. Think of any experiment that will satisfy yourself;--let it
only be made quickly.'
The man promised; for he always promised. He thought it a part of his
duty. It is not to be told with what horror I at last heard that 'Oh
yes,' which always began the heart-breaking assents addressed to me as
to one whom it were needless and cruel to contradict.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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