Christian life; Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Young women -- Conduct of life -- Fiction
I expressed my unfeigned sorrow for the mischief which I had innocently
caused; for I was at this moment less disposed to resent impertinence
than to sympathise in the joys and sorrows of all human kind.
My landlady's countenance at last relaxed a little; and either won by my
good-humour, or prompted by her curiosity to discover my adventures
during my mysterious disappearance, or by a desire to dispose of her
lodging at a season when they were not very disposable, she told me that
I might, if I chose, take possession of my former accommodation. With
this ungracious permission I was obliged to comply; for the day was
already closing, and my scarcely recovered strength was fast yielding to
fatigue.
I was aware, however, that in those lodgings it was impossible for me,
with only my present funds, to remain; for humble as were my
accommodations, they were far too costly for my means of payment. Mr
Boswell had, indeed, acknowledged himself my debtor for a sum, which, in
my situation, appeared positive riches; but my prospect of receiving it
was so small, or at least so distant, that I dared not include the
disposal of it in any plan for the present. That I might not, however,
lose it by my own neglect, I immediately wrote to remind Mr Boswell of
his promise, and to acquaint him whither he might transmit the money. I
had no very sanguine hopes that this letter would ever reach the person
for whom it was intended; and was more sorry than surprised, when day
after day passed, and brought no answer.
In the mean time, I made every exertion to obtain a new situation. I
enquired for Mrs Murray; and found that she was still in England, where
she had been joined by her son. I went unwittingly to the house of her
repulsive sister; and found, to my great relief, that it was, like half
the houses in its neighbourhood, deserted for the season. It was in vain
that I endeavoured to procure employment as a teacher. The season was
against my success. The town was literally empty; for though this is a
mere figure of speech when applied to London, it becomes a matter of
fact in Edinburgh. Besides, I had no introduction; and I believe there
is no place under Heaven where an introduction is so indispensable.
Without it, scarcely the humblest employment was to be obtained. Had I
asked for alms, I should probably have been bountifully supplied; but
the charity which in Scotland is bestowed upon a nameless stranger, is
not of that kind which 'thinketh no evil.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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