"We say in Yiddish about this or that person: '_Er kumt mit sich fun
ein stedtel_.' Well, I, too, come from the same town with myself. I have
gone through the dark labyrinth of life with myself in my hand. I have
felt, experienced and known the same things that Keidansky has gone
through, and--frankly--I enjoy my own writings. Sometimes my favorite
works are my own. They move me, they stir me and they stimulate me to
higher things. There is a quality about them, more human, more intimate,
more personal, that brings them nearer to me than any other writings.
The pathos is so touching, the humor so rollicking, the satire so
pungent. It is all so effective, significant and strong. Words, lines,
sentences, pages that fall flat on the ears of another, they are
pregnant with meaning, choked full of suggestion, and often so
thrilling. That one has felt, thought, said, given birth to these
things, is so fine; so splendid to watch a grand procession of the
children of your brain--particularly when you are intuitively convinced
that they are, well, a goodly and well-formed brood, and worthy of you.
They have to be quite robust to withstand that uncomfortable critical
sense.
"You see, I want a personality, a man, a certain mental attitude, a
sense of reserve force, deep-rooted sincerity and determined intentions
behind what I read, and I am sure of all that, in the case of my own
writings. This gives one a feeling of gladness and joy. In the
productions of others one must grope in darkness, painfully explore,
and so often search in vain for these qualities through their mental
manoeuvres and spiritual contortions.
"In our own work we can easily forgive the flaws, faults and
shortcomings. We know why they exist, and to what to attribute them; we
realize that they are not due to lack of talent or any cause like that.
Our characteristic carelessness, our hasty manner, impatience at the
slow accommodations of mere mechanical words, a desire to say too many
things at the same time--if it is not the one, it is the other. But we
know that we could do better if we wanted to; if we cared less about the
matter than about the form. We know that the quality is there. There is
nothing the matter with that. But somehow we cannot account so well for
the crudities, defects and deformities in the performances of others,
which jar upon us terribly and mar so much of our pleasure. Their
failings are so flagrant, their meanings so nebulous, their ideas so
hazy. It is all so far off and so unsatisfying. Why do people write
things we do not like? Oh, the rogues, we answer ourselves, as the
thought comes to us, they must be doing it for their own enjoyment. They
can fill in the gaps, read in everything that is lacking; they can make
masterpieces while they read their commonplace utterances--but we? We
ought to read our own immortal works. We ought to, if we have any
appreciation of great literature.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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