British -- Germany -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Husband and wife -- Fiction
Nora stood before the long glass in the drawing-room and studied herself
with a listless interest. The expensive white chiffon dress which Wolff
had given her for the occasion became her well, and at another time she
might have found an innocent pleasure in this contemplation of her own
picture. But she was exhausted, spiritually and physically. The storm
of the day before had shattered something in her—perhaps her youth—and
she saw in the mirror only the pale face and heavy eyes, and before her
in the near future an evening of outward gaiety and inward trial. That
which she had once sought after with feverish desire—magnificence and
contact with the great world where stuffy flats and poverty were
unknown—had become her poison. She shrank instinctively, like some poor
invalid, from all noise and movement. She would have been thankful to
be able to lie down and sleep and forget, but Duty, that grim fetish to
which she had sworn obedience, demanded of her that she should laugh and
seem merry beneath the critical, questioning eyes of those who to-morrow
might be fighting against her people.
Miles was lying in his usual attitude on the sofa, watching her. He had
been curiously quiet the whole day, keeping to the house and avoiding
Arnim with an increased shyness. Nora believed that she understood him.
She did not see that his young face was sallow and lined with
dissipation, nor that his furtive eyes were heavy and bloodshot. She
saw in him only the brother, the Englishman, and that one fact of his
nationality covered him with a cloak, hiding from her all that was
pitiable and contemptible, lending him a dignity, a worthiness that was
not his. So also she interpreted his general conduct and his abrupt
refusal to accompany her to the Hulsons’ ball. She felt that he was
awaiting the hour of departure to his own country, chafing at the bonds
which held him, and that, like a true Englishman, he shrank from all
further association with his future enemies. She honoured him for
it—she envied him for it; but she dreaded her own loneliness. She came
to his side and laid her hand gently on his shoulder.
"I wish you were coming too," she said, "for my sake, not for yours."
"I can’t," he retorted sullenly.
"No, I know. I was not going to try and persuade you. I understand so
well how you feel. Oh, Miles, you must go back to England—we must
manage it somehow. I shall tell Wolff to-night. Things can’t be worse
than they are—and perhaps he will help."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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