British -- Germany -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Husband and wife -- Fiction
Nora stumbled. She would have fallen at the bedside had not a hand,
seeming to stretch out of the darkness, caught her and held her. It was
Frau von Arnim. How long she had been there Nora could not tell. She
felt herself being drawn gently but firmly away.
"Go to your room, Nora. Lie down and sleep. I should never have left
you. Poor child!"
In the midst of her grief the tones of deep, generous pity awoke in
Nora’s heart a strange awe and wonder. She did not dare meet Frau von
Arnim’s eyes. It was as though she knew she would see there a tragedy
greater than her own, a pain too sacred for words of comfort. She crept
from the room, leaving mother and daughter alone.
"Nora, Nora, what have you done?"
The words followed her; they rang in her ears as she flung herself down
by her table, burying her face in her arms in a passion of despair.
"What have I done?" she asked again and again. And all that was generous
and chivalrous in her answered:
"She loved you, and you have stolen her one happiness from her. You are
a thief. You have done the cruellest, meanest thing of your life."
Justice protested:
"How could you have known? You did not even know that _you_ loved, or
were loved—not till this morning."
Then the memory of that morning, that short-lived happiness already
crumbled and in ruins, swept over her and bore down the last barriers of
her self-control. Poor Nora! She sobbed as only youth can sob face to
face with its first great grief, desperately, unrestrainedly, believing
that for her at least life and hope were at an end. Another less
passionate, less governed by emotion would have reasoned, "It is not
your fault. You need not suffer!" Nora only saw that, wittingly or
unwittingly, she had helped to heap sorrow upon sorrow for a being who
had shown her only kindness and love. She had brought fresh misfortune
where she should have brought consolation; she had dared to love where
she had no right to love; she had kindled a love in return which could
only mean pain—perhaps worse—to those who had given her their whole
trust and affection. She had done wrong, and for her there was only one
punishment—atonement by renunciation.
The grey winter dawn crept into the little bedroom, and Nora still sat
at her table. She was no longer crying. Her eyes were wide open and
tearless. Only an occasional shudder, a rough, uneven sigh, told of the
storm that had passed over her. As the light grew stronger she took up
a crumpled letter and read it through, very slowly, as though each word
cost her an effort. When she had finished she copied an address on to
an envelope and began to write to Robert Arnold. Her hand shook so that
she had to tear up the first sheet and begin afresh, and even then the
words were scarcely legible. Once her courage almost failed her, but
she pulled herself back to her task with a pathetic tightening of the
lips.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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