Golf stories, English; Golfers -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English
“White violets. You remember those white violets I’ve been sending you
every year on our wedding anniversary? Well, what I mean to say, our
lives are parted and all that sort of thing, but you won’t mind if I
go on sending them--what? Won’t hurt you, what I’m driving at, and’ll
please me, see what I mean? So, well, to put the thing in a nutshell,
if you haven’t any objection, that’s that.”
Jane reeled against the gate-leg table.
“William! Was it you who sent those violets?”
“Absolutely. Who did you think it was?”
“William!” cried Jane, and flung herself into his arms.
William scooped her up gratefully. This was the sort of thing he
had been wanting for weeks past. He could do with a lot of this. He
wouldn’t have suggested it himself, but, seeing that she felt that way,
he was all for it.
“William,” said Jane, “can you ever forgive me?”
“Oh, rather,” said William. “Like a shot. Though, I mean to say,
nothing to forgive, and all that sort of thing.”
“We’ll go back right away to our dear little cottage.”
“Fine!”
“We’ll never leave it again.”
“Topping!”
“I love you,” said Jane, “more than life itself.”
“Good egg!” said William.
Jane turned with shining eyes to little Braid Vardon.
“Braid, we’re going home with daddy!”
“Where?”
“Home. To our little cottage.”
“What’s a cottage?”
“The house where we used to be before we came here.”
“What’s here?”
“This is.”
“Which?”
“Where we are now.”
“Why?”
“I’ll tell you what, old girl,” said William. “Just shove a green-baize
cloth over that kid, and then start in and brew me about five pints
of tea as strong and hot as you can jolly well make it. Otherwise I’m
going to get the cold of a lifetime.”
CHAPTER IX
THE PURIFICATION OF RODNEY SPELVIN
It was an afternoon on which one would have said that all Nature
smiled. The air was soft and balmy; the links, fresh from the rains of
spring, glistened in the pleasant sunshine; and down on the second tee
young Clifford Wimple, in a new suit of plus-fours, had just sunk two
balls in the lake, and was about to sink a third. No element, in short,
was lacking that might be supposed to make for quiet happiness.
And yet on the forehead of the Oldest Member, as he sat beneath the
chestnut tree on the terrace overlooking the ninth green, there was
a peevish frown; and his eye, gazing down at the rolling expanse of
turf, lacked its customary genial benevolence. His favourite chair,
consecrated to his private and personal use by unwritten law, had been
occupied by another. That is the worst of a free country--liberty so
often degenerates into licence.
The Oldest Member coughed.
“I trust,” he said, “you find that chair comfortable?”
The intruder, who was the club’s hitherto spotless secretary, glanced
up in a goofy manner.
“Eh?”
“That chair--you find it fits snugly to the figure?”
“Chair? Figure? Oh, you mean this chair? Oh yes.”
“I am gratified and relieved,” said the Oldest Member.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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