He is free!--free, too, with a
freedom that has been given to him, that has been gained by no violent
bursting of bars, and which therefore he may taste with that fulness of
joy that those alone can feel who have long lain fast bound in misery
and iron. He has been so long a bondman, the irons have cut so deeply
into his flesh, that on first coming out into God's good light he
staggers blindly as one drunk.
He walks to the window and looks out. The bells are ringing to afternoon
church, and the congregations are passing staidly by. He looks out at
them all, with a joyous smile at the _endimanché_ shop-boys, each with
his sweetheart on his arm; at the little children holding fathers' and
mothers' hands. He, too, may have a sweetheart. He, too, may be blessed
with little children. There are none of the possibilities which make
life lovely to other men, to which he, too, may not aspire. The happy
tears crowd into his eyes.
From the window he walks to his bureau, and out of a secret drawer takes
a tiny tissue-paper parcel, and from it carefully extracts its contents.
They consist of only one sprig of dried lavender, thieved from the
garden of the little Red House, and at which for five months he has not
dared to look. He may look at it now; may pass it lovingly across his
lips; may inhale whatever yet lingers of its innocent cottage sweetness.
There is enough still left to recall the parent-tree. He may see again
that spreading flowered bush; may see again Minky galloping like a
little gray whirlwind across the lawn; may hear again the parrot
swearing in the cook's voice, and sleepily clacking with his black
tongue in the sunshine; may watch the eleven birds--are there still
eleven, he wonders?--hopping and quarrelling and twittering up and down
upon his ladder; may see Jacob and the mowing-machine; and--_her_. Can
any bodily eyes show her to him much more plainly than his spirit's eyes
see her now, summoned up before him by that delicate, homely perfume,
that is to him so indissolubly associated with her?--see her as he saw
her last in the walled Manor garden, standing among the moon-shimmering
white gladioli, and saying to him with farewell smile and wavering
voice:
'Since you are so determined to go downhill, I suppose I dare not say
that I hope our paths will ever meet again.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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