She has risen to her feet again, risen to her full height (how tall she
is!); and once again stands confronting him, not even asking the
table-edge for any support.
'And--you--told--me--that--you--were--free!'
The words drop wonderingly from her mouth, barbed with an icy contempt
that makes him writhe. But at least he thanks God that she does not
treat him to such mirth as Betty's.
'I told you the truth,' rejoins the poor fellow doggedly--'I _was_ free;
I _am_ free!'
But the consciousness of the impossibility of really clearing his
character, save at the expense of her whom he must for ever shield,
lends a flatness and unreality to his assertion, which, as he feels
through every aching fibre, will only serve the more deeply to convince
Peggy of his guilt. It is not long before he sees that he has divined
justly.
'You need not make a laughing-stock of me,' she says with dignity,
turning towards the door. But at that, the despair which has been
paralysing him awakes, and cries out loud, giving him motion and a
voice.
'You are not going!' he cries in a tone whose agony stabs her like a
knife, flinging himself upon her passage.
'What is there to stay for?' she answers, choked. But she pauses. Can
he, even yet, have anything to say?
'Do you think that I met her there _on purpose_?' he asks, his words
pouring out in a hoarse eager flood, as if he had but little hope of
commanding her attention for long to them--'by appointment? Ask yourself
whether it is possible? Was I so anxious to leave you? Was not it you
that drove me away? I tell you I had no more idea of meeting her than I
had of meeting----' he hesitates, seeking for a comparison strong enough
to emphasise his denial--'as I had of meeting one of the dead. I did not
even know that she was in the neighbourhood. I had held no communication
with her for months. It was an accident--a mere accident!'
He breaks off suffocated. At the intense sincerity of his tone, a
sincerity which it is difficult to believe feigned, a sort of stir has
come over her face; but in a moment it has gone again.
'Was it,' she asks with a quietness that makes his hopes sink lower than
would any noisy tears or tantrums, 'was it _by accident_ that she was in
your arms?'
He is silent. In point of fact, he is as innocent of that embrace as
Peggy herself; but from telling her so he is, being a man and an
Englishman, for ever debarred. He must stand there, and bear the
consequences of that supposed guilt, whatever those consequences may
be. There is a little stillness while he waits his sentence--a little
stillness broken only by the eight-day clock's tick-tack, and by the
distance-mellowed sounds of the village rising to go about its daily
work.
'Have you nothing to say for yourself, then?' she asks at last, in a
voice which she dares not raise above a whisper for fear of its
betraying her by altogether breaking down--'no explanation to give?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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