Every day for the last month she has been going to be moved down next
day to her settle in the hall; but whenever the new morning has come,
that move has been deferred to the next. 'There is nothing the matter
with her, really nothing; only she does not feel quite up to it; and,
after all, there is plenty of time for her to get well in. Twenty-four
hours will not make much difference, and she is so happy and comfortable
up here.'
Up here, lying on the dressing-room sofa, with the fire flickering on
the hearth beside her, talking to her cheerfully through her bad nights
and her drowsy days; with every little present given her by Freddy
ranged round her, within easy reach of her eye and hand, like a sick
child's toys, and with his letters--they are not very many, for he is
but a poor correspondent, though he says such beautiful things when he
does write--kept delicately blue-ribboned in a little packet under her
pillow, or oftener still held in her hot dry hand.
Their number has lately been swelled by the addition of a bulky one from
Southampton, over which she has rained torrents of blissful tears.
Hanging on the wall opposite to her, so that her look may rest
continually upon it, is a large card, upon which she has had the number
of the days of her lover's intended absence marked in black strokes.
Every morning at her waking she has it brought to her, in order to put a
pen-line through one more day. There are over thirty already thus scored
out, as she shows to Peggy with a radiant smile.
At the beginning of the month, her sofa had been always covered with
books. Freddy's own poems--these indeed stay to the last; the 'Browning'
he has retrieved for her from Miss Hartley; books of criticism, of
history, of verse, over which she pores laboriously, in pursuance of her
promise to him to be more able to enter into his thoughts and understand
his ideas upon his return. But by and by she has to cease from the
attempt.
'I am afraid I cannot quite manage it,' she says to her sister, with an
apologetic intonation; 'my head does not seem very clear. Sometimes I am
afraid'--the wistful tears stealing into her blue eyes--'that it is not
in me; that when he comes back he will find me just where he left me;
that he will have to put up with me as I am.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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