It is not only the little innocent who has already crossed the flood of
whom she is thinking, but also of that other one in the room upstairs,
whose feet are so fast nearing the ford.
'He was very fond of you, very!' says the mother, her parched eyes
noting with an expression of surprise and envy the agitation of her
companion. 'And he was not one to take a fancy to everybody either; he
had his likes and dislikes. Yes, he was very fond of you; but,' with a
sort of hurry in her tone, 'you did not come before me; no one did that.
Mammy was always first. Last time he was staying at the Manor he wrote
me two little letters; how do you think he signed them?' with a pale,
wild smile: '"Your loving friend." Was not that an odd signature? "Your
loving friend!"'
Peggy's sobs have mastered her so completely, that she can make no
answer beyond that of once again convulsively pressing her poor little
legacy to her quivering lips.
'He suffered a good deal,' continues Betty, with that terrible composure
of hers; 'but he made no fuss about it. He asked me once or twice
whether I could not take away the pain; but when I told him that I could
not, he quite understood. Children are so patient; and he always was a
plucky little chap.'
'You _poor_ woman!' cries Peggy, in a voice almost unintelligible
through her tears. 'Oh, I wish I could do anything for you! Oh, you poor
woman!'
She has caught both Betty's icy hands into her own warm compassionate
clasp. She has clean forgotten that they are the hands of the woman who
has slain her life. She knows only that there is a most miserable
creature struggling in the deep waters beside her, to whom all her large
pitying heart goes out. The other accepts indifferently that strong and
sorrowful clasp, as what would not she so accept?
'You seem to be very kind!' she says, with a sort of stupid wonder.
'And yet, if you come to think of it, we have no great cause to love
each other; you have no great cause to be fond of me.'
'You poor soul!' returns Peggy, looking back, with all the perfect
honesty of her sad eyes, into the other's disfigured face. 'I bear you
no malice for any harm you may have done me; and I have never wittingly
done you any.'
'_Never wittingly done me any!_' repeats Betty, with a dull and dragging
intonation. 'Have not you? There were only two things in the world that
I cared about. You took one of them from me, and now God has taken the
other.'
Peggy lets go her hands in a revulsion of feeling strong beyond the
power of words to express, and steps back a horrified pace or two. Is it
possible, is it conceivable that in this most sacred hour of holy
mother-grief, she can think or speak of her own lawless passion?
'You are shocked!' says Betty, perceiving this movement on the part of
her companion. 'I do not know why you should be. If I were to pretend
that I had always been a good woman, it would not give me back my boy;
and what does anything else matter?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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