The drowsiness that used to frighten Margaret with its threatened
mastery she has no longer any need to keep at bay. On the contrary, the
preternatural wakefulness which had been with her all last night is with
her still. With her, too, is the thundering silence, beating in her ear
like a loud drum. All her last night's enemies are here again--all but
one, the worst. She has no longer to contend with those flashes of
dreadful incongruous joy. They at least are gone--extinct, dead! He that
had called them forth is massed in her despair with her other dead. They
are all gone irrevocably. The only difference is that God took the
others, and she herself has thrown him away. But they are all equally
gone--gone! If it were not so, if she had any one left, would she be
kneeling here, in this overpowering loneliness, watching Prue go, and
asking God over and over again, in the same stupid agonised words, to
let her go easily?
Yes, it has come to this. We begin by asking such great things for our
beloved--honour, and wisdom, and long life, and riches; and we end in
this, 'Give them a short agony, an easy passing!' Is it a sign that God
has heard her prayer, that as the hours go by Prue begins to talk out
loud, with little laughs between? to talk--not of her cough, and her
physic, and her short breath--but of gay and lovely things. She is
talking to one who is not here, of fair sights that are not before her
dying eyes.
Peggy holds her breath to listen. She is sitting in the garden with
Freddy. She is riding with him through the woods. From what she says, it
must be springtime. What a sheet of harebells! Never any May that she
remembers have they been so many before! And the birds! how loudly they
are singing! She would like to know the note of each, but she is so
stupid, he must teach her!
A great dry sob breaks from the listener's breast.
'Oh, Prue, Prue!' she moans; 'take me with you! Let me, too, see the
flowers and hear the birds!'
But Prue does not heed. She babbles happily on. By and by her wanderings
die down into a sort of semi-stupor, that is neither sleep nor waking.
The silence that her voice had broken is not again wholly restored. It
is exchanged for those indefinite noises of the night which, to timid
souls, seem to share the dominion of terror with its stillness. There
are definite noises too. A mouse gnaws behind the wainscot; the wind has
risen, not into a loud and roaring storm, but into a plaintive piping
and muttering and whistling. A loose rose-branch that in summer sends
its petals flying in through Prue's casement to her feet, is now tapping
pertinaciously on the pane. It seems as if it would not take 'No' for
answer, as if it were crying to her with summoning fingers, 'Come, come!
it is time!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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