France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
The days wore on in the midst of these alternations of good and bad
hours. He recovered his strength but slowly, and what put him in
despair was that whenever he attempted to work he was seized by a
profuse perspiration. If he had persisted, he would assuredly have
fainted. So long as he did not work he felt that his convalescence was
making little progress. He began to take an interest again, however, in
his accustomed investigations. He read over again the last pages that
he had written, and, with this reawakening of the scientist in him, his
former anxieties returned. At one time he fell into a state of such
depression, that the house and all it contained ceased to exist for
him. He might have been robbed, everything he possessed might have been
taken and destroyed, without his even being conscious of the disaster.
Now he became again watchful, from time to time he would feel his
pocket, to assure himself that the key of the press was there.
But one morning when he had overslept himself, and did not leave his
room until eleven o’clock, he saw Clotilde in the study, quietly
occupied in copying with great exactness in pastel a branch of
flowering almond. She looked up, smiling; and taking a key that was
lying beside her on the desk, she offered it to him, saying:
“Here, master.”
Surprised, not yet comprehending, he looked at the object which she
held toward him.
“What is that?” he asked.
“It is the key of the press, which you must have dropped from your
pocket yesterday, and which I picked up here this morning.”
Pascal took it with extraordinary emotion. He looked at it, and then at
Clotilde. Was it ended, then? She would persecute him no more. She was
no longer eager to rob everything, to burn everything. And seeing her
still smiling, she also looking moved, an immense joy filled his heart.
He caught her in his arms, crying:
“Ah, little girl, if we might only not be too unhappy!”
Then he opened a drawer of his table and threw the key into it, as he
used to do formerly.
From this time on he gained strength, and his convalescence progressed
more rapidly. Relapses were still possible, for he was still very weak.
But he was able to write, and this made the days less heavy. The sun,
too, shone more brightly, the study being so warm at times that it
became necessary to half close the shutters. He refused to see
visitors, barely tolerated Martine, and had his mother told that he was
sleeping, when she came at long intervals to inquire for him. He was
happy only in this delightful solitude, nursed by the rebel, the enemy
of yesterday, the docile pupil of to-day. They would often sit together
in silence for a long time, without feeling any constraint. They
meditated, or lost themselves in infinitely sweet reveries.
One day, however, Pascal seemed very grave. He was now convinced that
his illness had resulted from purely accidental causes, and that
heredity had had no part in it. But this filled him none the less with
humility.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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