France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
This involuntary avowal made Clotilde start, and she looked from one to
the other, as if, by the force of circumstances, she compared them with
each other—Ramond, with his smiling and superb face—the face of the
handsome physician adored by the women—his luxuriant black hair and
beard, in all the splendor of his young manhood; and Pascal, with his
white hair and his white beard. This fleece of snow, still so abundant,
retained the tragic beauty of the six months of torture that he had
just passed through. His sorrowful face had aged a little, only his
eyes remained still youthful; brown eyes, brilliant and limpid. But at
this moment all his features expressed so much gentleness, such exalted
goodness, that Clotilde ended by letting her gaze rest upon him with
profound tenderness. There was silence for a moment and each heart
thrilled.
“Well, my children,” resumed Pascal heroically, “I think you have
something to say to each other. I have something to do, too,
downstairs. I will come up again presently.”
And he left the room, smiling back at them.
And soon as they were alone, Clotilde went frankly straight over to
Ramond, with both hands outstretched. Taking his hands in hers, she
held them as she spoke.
“Listen, my dear friend; I am going to give you a great grief. You must
not be too angry with me, for I assure you that I have a very profound
friendship for you.”
He understood at once, and he turned very pale.
“Clotilde give me no answer now, I beg of you; take more time, if you
wish to reflect further.”
“It is useless, my dear friend, my decision is made.”
She looked at him with her fine, loyal look. She had not released his
hands, in order that he might know that she was not excited, and that
she was his friend. And it was he who resumed, in a low voice:
“Then you say no?”
“I say no, and I assure you that it pains me greatly to say it. Ask me
nothing; you will no doubt know later on.”
He sat down, crushed by the emotion which he repressed like a strong
and self-contained man, whose mental balance the greatest sufferings
cannot disturb. Never before had any grief agitated him like this. He
remained mute, while she, standing, continued:
“And above all, my friend, do not believe that I have played the
coquette with you. If I have allowed you to hope, if I have made you
wait so long for my answer, it was because I did not in very truth see
clearly myself. You cannot imagine through what a crisis I have just
passed—a veritable tempest of emotions, surrounded by darkness from out
of which I have but just found my way.”
He spoke at last.
“Since it is your wish, I will ask you nothing. Besides, it is
sufficient for you to answer one question. You do not love me,
Clotilde?”
She did not hesitate, but said gravely, with an emotion which softened
the frankness of her answer:
“It is true, I do not love you; I have only a very sincere affection
for you.”
He rose, and stopped by a gesture the kind words which she would have
added.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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