France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“Those are very fine sentiments, no doubt,” returned Félicité. “You
have settled it all in your own little head. But marriage will not give
you an income; and, meantime, you are a great expense to him; you are
the heaviest of his burdens.”
The effect which these words had upon Clotilde was extraordinary. She
turned violently to Pascal, her cheeks crimson, her eyes filled with
tears.
“Master, master! is what grandmother has just said true? Has it come to
this, that you regret the money I cost you here?”
Pascal grew still paler; he remained motionless, in an attitude of
utter dejection. But in a far-away voice, as if he were talking to
himself, he murmured:
“I have so much work to do! I should like to go over my envelopes, my
manuscripts, my notes, and complete the work of my life. If I were
alone perhaps I might be able to arrange everything. I would sell La
Souleiade, oh! for a crust of bread, for it is not worth much. I should
shut myself and my papers in a little room. I should work from morning
till night, and I should try not to be too unhappy.”
But he avoided her glance; and, agitated as she was, these painful and
stammering utterances were not calculated to satisfy her. She grew
every moment more and more terrified, for she felt that the irrevocable
word was about to be spoken.
“Look at me, master, look me in the face. And I conjure you, be brave,
choose between your work and me, since you say, it seems, that you send
me away that you may work the better.”
The moment for the heroic falsehood had come. He lifted his head and
looked her bravely in the face, and with the smile of a dying man who
desires death, recovering his voice of divine goodness, he said:
“How excited you get! Can you not do your duty quietly, like everybody
else? I have a great deal of work to do, and I need to be alone; and
you, dear, you ought to go to your brother. Go then, everything is
ended.”
There was a terrible silence for the space of a few seconds. She looked
at him earnestly, hoping that he would change his mind. Was he really
speaking the truth? was he not sacrificing himself in order that she
might be happy? For a moment she had an intuition that this was the
case, as if some subtle breath, emanating from him, had warned her of
it.
“And you are sending me away forever? You will not permit me to come
back to-morrow?”
But he held out bravely; with another smile he seemed to answer that
when one went away like this it was not to come back again on the
following day. She was now completely bewildered; she knew not what to
think. It might be possible that he had chosen work sincerely; that the
man of science had gained the victory over the lover. She grew still
paler, and she waited a little longer, in the terrible silence; then,
slowly, with her air of tender and absolute submission, she said:
“Very well, master, I will go away whenever you wish, and I will not
return until you send for me.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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