France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Upstairs in the study Pascal sat seemingly in a stupor, his face bent
over a large open book. He could no longer read, the words danced
before his eyes, conveying no meaning to his mind. But he persisted,
for it was death to him to lose his faculty for work, hitherto so
powerful. His mother at once began to scold him, snatching the book
from him, and flinging it upon a distant table, crying that when one
was sick one should take care of one’s self. He rose with a quick,
angry movement, about to order her away as he had ordered Clotilde.
Then, by a last effort of the will, he became again deferential.
“Mother, you know that I have never wished to dispute with you. Leave
me, I beg of you.”
She did not heed him, but began instead to take him to task about his
continual distrust. It was he himself who had given himself a fever,
always fancying that he was surrounded by enemies who were setting
traps for him, and watching him to rob him. Was there any common sense
in imagining that people were persecuting him in that way? And then she
accused him of allowing his head to be turned by his discovery, his
famous remedy for curing every disease. That was as much as to think
himself equal to the good God; which only made it all the more cruel
when he found out how mistaken he was. And she mentioned Lafouasse, the
man whom he had killed—naturally, she could understand that that had
not been very pleasant for him; indeed there was cause enough in it to
make him take to his bed.
Pascal, still controlling himself, very pale and with eyes cast on the
ground, contented himself with repeating:
“Mother, leave me, I beg of you.”
“No, I won’t leave you,” she cried with the impetuosity which was
natural to her, and which her great age had in no wise diminished. “I
have come precisely to stir you up a little, to rid you of this fever
which is consuming you. No, this cannot continue. I don’t wish that we
should again become the talk of the whole town on your account. I wish
you to take care of yourself.”
He shrugged his shoulders, and said in a low voice, as if speaking to
himself, with an uneasy look, half of conviction, half of doubt:
“I am not ill.”
But Félicité, beside herself, burst out, gesticulating violently:
“Not ill! not ill! Truly, there is no one like a physician for not
being able to see himself. Why, my poor boy, every one that comes near
you is shocked by your appearance. You are becoming insane through
pride and fear!”
This time Pascal raised his head quickly, and looked her straight in
the eyes, while she continued:
“This is what I had to tell you, since it seems that no one else would
undertake the task. You are old enough to know what you ought to do.
You should make an effort to shake off all this; you should think of
something else; you should not let a fixed idea take possession of you,
especially when you belong to a family like ours. You know it; have
sense, and take care of yourself.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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