The rest of the company got along very well, managing the removal of
Birnam wood in rather a unique manner--when the soldier spoke of a
"moving wood" a back scene opened and discovered four darkies carrying
pine kindling wood from a wagon with a jackass team, down cellar into a
coal-hole.
Whenever an actor forgot his part the prompter would rush out from his
hiding place, put the offending artist in the proper position, read his
lines for him, and suddenly disappear, until some fresh delinquency
called for another shirt-sleeve advent.
Matters progressed towards the close of the piece--Lady Macbeth had
played the lighted candle scene (using a bed-lamp, a candle not being
forthcoming)--had made her last exit, leaving the green baize train,
which had come untied, in the middle of the stage, a sad memorial of her
fate--the soldiers had met in a pitched battle (every "Supe" had
insisted on dying a death of his own, in order to display his tragic
genius), and had expired in various uncomfortable positions; one sitting
up against the flat, with his leg through a trap-door, and his mouth
open, and another with his head through a bushel basket which he had
brought on to use as a shield--all the minor business of the piece was
got along with, and it only remained for Macduff and the rotund Macbeth
to have their fight, say their say, die their die, and finish the play.
They entered arm in arm, being evidently determined, like
prize-fighters, to do their "bloody business" amicably, and as old
friends ought.
Macduff remarked to the audience that they were going to "settle that
little quarrel"--they then proceeded to strip for the contest.
Macduff retired to one corner and pulled off his boots and spectacles,
Macbeth went to another and laid down his jacket and shield--then they
met in the middle, shook hands--one flourished a long toasting-fork
--the other wielded a rolling-pin--Macbeth made the last speech as
follows--
"Come on!!! Macduff be damned!!!" both pitched in--first round,
toasting-fork ahead, rolling-pin in the corner with his nose
bloody--second round, toasting-fork knocks rolling-pin through a parlor
scene and falls back exhausted--third round, both come to time with
difficulty, toaster hits roller in the stomach, roller shies his weapon
at toaster's head, toaster spears at roller's toes, and breaks his fork.
All their munitions of war being exhausted, they close in an expiring
wrestle, and Macbeth eventually dies, having first in the terrific
struggle suffered amputation of the pantaloons immediately above both
knees.
Macduff recovers his rolling-pin, and stands over the conquered Macbeth
in a grand saw-buck attitude of victory and triumph.
XXXVI.
Young America in Long Dresses--Great Excitement in Babydom.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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