Several scenes follow, in all of which the heroic lover, the dark
villain, and the despairing maiden, figure conspicuously, and the scenic
resources of this magnificent establishment are displayed to the utmost
advantage--the omnipresent square-legged table being equal to any
emergency--being an ornament of elegant proportions in the palace, then
an appropriate fixture in the lowly cot of the "poor but honest parents"
of heroic lovers.
It is used by the King to sign a death-warrant on, and is then
transferred to the kitchen, where it makes a convenient platform upon
which the low-comedy servant dances a hornpipe--it then reappears in the
country-house of a powerful villain, who uses it by night for a
bedstead--and it then makes its final appearance in the King's private
library, prior to its eventual resurrection in the farce, where barmaid
has it covered with pewter beer-mugs and platters of cold victuals.
And the same two ubiquitous chairs go through every gradation of
fortune, turn up in all sorts of unexpected places, are always
forthcoming when we least expect to see them--are chairs of state or
humble stools, as occasion may require--are put to all sorts of
uses--appear in varied unexpected capacities, and finally, when we think
their Protean transformations are at last exhausted, they re-appear,
covered with flannel ermine and Turkey red calico, doing duty as thrones
for the King and Queen, and we are expected to honor them accordingly.
The end draws nigh--brigands begin to appear in every other scene--dark
lanterns, long swords, and broad cloaks are in the ascendant.
Terrible thunder-storm prevails--the dashing rain is imitated as closely
as dried peas and No. 1 shot can be expected to do it--the pendant sheet
iron does its duty nobly, and the home-made thunder is a first-rate
article. The plot thickens, so does the weather--heroic young lover is
in a peck of troubles--has a clandestine moonlight, midnight meeting
with injured damsel, and they resolve to kill themselves and take the
chances of something "turning up" in another world.
Comic servant eats whole mince pies, drinks innumerable bottles of
wine, and devours countless legs of mutton and plum-puddings at a
sitting.
Villain is triumphant--blood and murder seem to be victorious over
innocence and virtue--when suddenly "a change comes o'er the spirit of
their dreams."
Heroic lover resolves not to die, but to distinguish himself--fights a
single-handed combat with seven robbers--stabs three, kicks one into a
mill-pond, and throws the rest over a precipice--distressed maid is
pursued by bandit chief--is rescued by heroic lover, who catches her in
his arms and jumps with her through a trap-door over a picket fence.
Hero is unexpectedly discovered to be a Prince, which fact is made known
to the world by his old nurse, who comes from some unknown region, and
whose word everybody seems to set down as gospel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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