Our stable boy, half an hour ago, found the bird suffering an
indigestion (consequent upon eating a bushel and a half of corn with the
cobs in, a pyramid of oyster shells, and a barrel of guano), and boldly
attacking him with a revolver and broad-axe, has succeeded, after a
prolonged struggle, in making an end of him. I ask B. if his fiendish
and diabolical malice is sated.
THE VERY LATEST.
I have for sale half a ton of feathers, which would make capital bean
poles, a side of tanned Rooster hide, and two Shanghae hams.
XXIX.
An Evening with the Spiritualists--Rampant Ghostology.
After the election excitement was over with, all ordinary means of
amusement seemed "stale, flat, and unprofitable." I no longer took any
interest in Theatres, Balls, or Darkey Minstrelism--and even a fire at
midnight failed to rouse me from my bed, unless it was in the next
block, visible from my window without getting up, and I could hear Hose
71 pitching into Engine 83 on the next corner.
A near relative of the illustrious Damphool, who believed in the
Spiritual performances, persuaded me to visit, with him and my
inseparable friends, the habitation of a "Medium" who retailed
communications from the other spheres at twenty-five cents an interview.
Being sated with the ordinary common-place things of every-day life, and
having heard a great deal about the mysterious communications
telegraphed to this, our ignorant sphere, by wise and benignant spirits
of bliss, through the dignified medium of old chairs, wash-stands and
card-tables, we three (who had met again) determined to put ourselves in
communication with the next world, to find out, if possible, our chances
of a favorable reception when business or pleasure calls us in that
direction.
Up Broadway, till we came to an illuminated three-cornered transparency,
(which made Bull Dogge smack his lips and say "oysters,") which informed
us that within, a large assortment of spirits of every description were
constantly in attendance, ready to answer inquiries, or to run on
errands in the spirit world, and bring the ghosts of anybody's defunct
relations or friends to that classic spot, for conversational purposes,
all for the moderate charge before mentioned.
Damphool, who had been there before, said that these "delicate Ariels"
were the spirits of departed newsboys, who are thrown out of their
legitimate business, and strive to get an honest living by doing these
eighteen-penny jobs.
Entered the room with _be_coming gravity, and _over_coming awe. Two
old foozles in white neckcloths and no collars, a returned Californian
in an Indian blanket, two peaked-nosed old maids, a good-looking widow,
with a little boy, our own sacred trio, and the "medium," composed the
whole of the assembled multitude.
The "medium" aforesaid, was a vinegar-complexioned woman, with a very
ruby nose, mouth the exact shape of the sound-hole to a violin, who wore
green spectacles, and robes of equivocal purity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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