"You have been busy," Constance said gently, "and then, in a certain
sense, I feel as if these cases were my work just as much as Greek
and History. Mother does not believe in indiscriminate giving. She
believes in personal investigation as far as possible. That takes
longer, of course, and is much more bother, but she has made me feel
that I have no right to waste my money (even if I do have more than
most girls), by a lazy way of giving. What I give carelessly to some
unworthy person who asks aid, may really belong by right to someone
else who is deserving and whom I would have found, had I investigated
personally. Do you see what I mean? I cannot help everyone, and so where
I _do_ help, I want my money to do good, not harm."
"Your way must cost a great amount of time and trouble."
"It often does, and that is my real, personal part of the giving. I
cannot take credit to myself for giving the money which comes to me with
no exertion on my part."
"What shall you do when you are out of college and in society?"
"I never expect to be in society, as I suppose you understand that
term. I have no particular fondness for receptions and germans and
balls. One tires of it all fearfully soon. I shall do some sort of
college settlement work, but I shall not undertake it until I feel
better prepared than at present."
"Dolly always said that I never knew anything about you, and she was
right. In your place I know that I should just be getting all of the good
times that I could for myself. I'm afraid that I should not care for
much except the frivolous part of life. It is well that I am poor, and
not likely to see much gaiety, because it has an irresistible attraction
for me. You would not imagine it, would you?"
But Constance could understand perfectly how Mary's hard, prosaic life
on the western farm had caused her to think with deep longing of the
bright, fashionable world in which she had no part or lot. Constance's
comprehension was so perfect, and her sympathy so delicate, that Mary
grew bitterly ashamed of the narrow feelings and jealousy which had
marred all her sophomore year. There should be no more of it, she told
herself sharply. Mary was not afraid to face facts when she once met them.
She owned, now, that she had been jealous of Dolly's open admiration
for Constance. Then she had called Constance proud and unfeeling. Who had
stood Margaret Hamilton's friend? Who was helping Margery Ainsworth to
regain her self-respect? Who had gone to Mrs. O'Flaherty on the first
hint of sickness? And had not the doctor declared that the college girls
were ignorant of the greater part of her charitable deeds?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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