This chapter may fitly close with a passage from the diary, which she appears to have begun to keep for the first time this year, when she was to some extent forced back upon herself, when she was making her own scheme of daily work. Begun on Ash Wednesday, February 17, 1858, it was continued intermittently at least to 1901, when the increasing infirmities of age made all reading and writing difficult. Sometimes dropped for many months, it was taken up again as if with the suggestion of a sense of culpability for neglect. It was never full; never, so far as outward events are concerned, of any great interest. Some of these, indeed, as the writing of certain letters, the visits of certain friends, or business engagements, are just mentioned and no more; doubtless for the sake of reference only. It remains for us as a revelation of the keen self-scrutiny with which she, who had to guide and warn others, was daily searching her own soul. Very often for weeks there is no mention of anything done, or seen, or thought as far as the matters of this world are concerned; but she never failed to note what she regarded as the real life, spiritual growth or the reverse, right or wrong conduct, faithful or unfaithful performance of religious duties. This diary cannot be ignored if a true presentment of Dorothea Beale is to be given. Hence, intimate as it is, enough extracts as may display the persistent effort of her life are inserted here. They are not consecutive, but chosen as characteristic and interesting, and showing to some extent the occupations of the period. Scanty traces indeed of what she was doing and thinking, they are yet enough to show a little of the anxiety and conflict of which she wrote in 1901 to Miss Margaret Richardson, in these words: ‘Once I had an interval of work, and I thought perhaps God would not give it me again—but after that interval He called me here. I think now I can see better how I needed that time of comparative quiet and solitude, and a time to think over my failures, and a time to be more helpful to my family.’ EXTRACTS FROM DIARY OF 1858 ‘_February 17th._—Ash Wednesday. [To] S. M’s. [Applied] for school at Holloway. Lip-service. Snappish. _Resolution._ [to strive for more] humility, patience, charity. ‘_February 26th._—Miss Alston came. Idle [meditation] on peace. To be less anxious. ‘_February 27th._—History for seven hours. Church. Some idleness. ‘_March 5th._—Went to see Mr. Sankey about boy’s evening school. To church. History. Many impatient answers to Mama. ‘_March 6th._—History. Aunt E. came. Cross at not getting my own way. Some idleness. Impatient manner. ‘_March 7th_, Sunday.—Went to H. E. without prayer. Not a devoted service. Morning prayer nothing but vain thoughts. At evening Church. Very cross.