Great Britain -- History -- Elizabeth, 1558-1603 -- Fiction; Haddon Hall (England) -- Fiction; Historical fiction
"Since our sweethearts have disappointed us, may we not console ourselves
with each other?" He placed his arm around the girl's waist and drew her
yielding form toward him. Dorothy, unobserved by John, removed the false
beard and moustachio, and when John put his arm about her waist and leaned
forward to kiss the fair accommodating neighbor she could restrain her
tears no longer and said:--
"That would be no consolation for me, John; that would be no consolation
for me. How can you? How can you?"
She rose to her feet and covered her face with her hands in a paroxysm of
weeping. John, too, sprang to his feet, you may be sure. "Dorothy! God
help me! I am the king of fools. Curse this hour in which I have thrown
away my heaven. You must hate and despise me, fool, fool that I am."
John knew that it were worse than useless for him to attempt an
explanation. The first thought that flashed through his mind was, to tell
the girl that he had only pretended not to know her. He thought he would
try to make her believe that he had been turning her trick upon herself;
but he was wise in his day and generation, and did not seek refuge in that
falsehood.
The girl would never have forgiven him for that.
"The only amends I can make," he said, in very dolefulness, "is that I may
never let you see my face again."
"That will not help matters," sobbed Dorothy.
"I know it will not," returned John. "Nothing can help me. I can remain
here no longer. I must leave you. I cannot even ask you to say farewell.
Mistress Vernon, you do not despise me half so bitterly as I despise
myself."
Dorothy was one of those rare natures to whom love comes but once. It had
come to her and had engulfed her whole being. To part with it would be
like parting with life itself. It was her tyrant, her master. It was her
ego. She could no more throw it off than she could expel herself from her
own existence. All this she knew full well, for she had analyzed her
conditions, and her reason had joined with all her other faculties in
giving her a clear concept of the truth. She knew she belonged to John
Manners for life and for eternity. She also knew that the chance of seeing
him soon again was very slight, and to part from him now in aught but
kindness would almost kill her.
Before John had recognized Dorothy he certainly had acted like a fool, but
with the shock of recognition came wisdom. All the learning of the
ancients and all the cunning of the prince of darkness could not have
taught him a wiser word with which to make his peace, "I may never let you
see my face again." That was more to be feared by Dorothy than even John's
inconstancy.
Her heart was full of trouble. "I do not know what I wish," she said
simply. "Give me a little time to think."
John's heart leaped with joy, but he remained silent.
Dorothy continued: "Oh, that I had remained at home. I would to God I had
never seen Derby-town nor you."
John in the fulness of his wisdom did not interrupt her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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