Great Britain -- History -- Elizabeth, 1558-1603 -- Fiction; Haddon Hall (England) -- Fiction; Historical fiction
How deeply Leicester became engaged in the plot I cannot say, but this I
know: through fear of Elizabeth, or for the purpose of winning her favor,
he unfolded to our queen all the details of Mary's scheme, together with
the full story of my ride with Dorothy to Rutland, and my return with
Dorothy and Mary in the coach. Thereupon Mary was placed under strict
guard. The story spread quickly through the Hall, and Dawson brought it to
me. On hearing it, my first thought was of Madge. I knew it would soon
reach her. Therefore I determined to go to her at once and make a clean
breast of all my perfidy. Had I done so sooner, I should at least have had
the benefit of an honest, voluntary confession; but my conscience had made
a coward of me, and the woman who had been my curse for years had so
completely disturbed my mind that I should have been quite as well off
without any at all. It led me from one mistake into another.
After Dawson told me that my miserable story was known throughout the
Hall, I sought Madge, and found her with Aunt Dorothy. She was weeping,
and I at once knew that I was too late with my confession. I spoke her
name, "Madge," and stood by her side awaiting her reply.
"Is it true, Malcolm?" she asked. "I cannot believe it till I hear it from
your lips."
"It was true," I responded. "I promised to help Queen Mary escape, and I
promised to go with her; but within one hour of the time when I gave my
word I regretted it as I have never regretted anything else in all my
life. I resolved that, while I should, according to my promise, help the
Scottish queen escape, I would not go with her. I resolved to wait here at
Haddon to tell all to you and to our queen, and then I would patiently
take my just punishment from each. My doom from the queen, I believed,
would probably be death; but I feared more your--God help me! It is
useless for me to speak." Here I broke down and fell upon my knees,
crying, "Madge, Madge, pity me, pity me! Forgive me if you can, and, if
our queen decrees it, I shall die happy."
In my desperation I caught the girl's hand, but she drew it quickly from
me, and said:--
"Do not touch me!"
She arose to her feet, and groped her way to her bedroom. We were in Aunt
Dorothy's room. I watched Madge as she sought with her outstretched hand
the doorway; and when she passed slowly through it, the sun of my life
seemed to turn black. Just as Madge passed from the room, Sir William St.
Loe, with two yeomen, entered by Sir George's door and placed irons upon
my wrist and ankles. I was led by Sir William to the dungeon, and no word
was spoken by either of us.
I had never in my life feared death, and now I felt that I would welcome
it. When a man is convinced that his life is useless, through the dire
disaster that he is a fool, he values it little, and is even more than
willing to lose it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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