But he whom he had slain was his brother--his own mother's son. Well,
what of that? Relationship was a mere accident, in his case an accident
in no sense to his advantage, and all the twaddle written and talked
about blood being thicker than water, and family affection and so on,
but the "thinnest" of cant. And had not this precious brother of his,
not content with supplanting him in his inheritance, taken advantage of
his downfall to blacken his name, so that she whom he loved and who had
loved him as he felt persuaded she would never again love, even she had,
in all probability, brought herself to regard his memory as a loathsome
thing; something to be put far from her? Then, to crown all, those
insulting words. Yes--whatever had occurred, the other had brought upon
himself and had richly deserved, and now, as it happened, it was perhaps
as well that the popular verdict should be one of accidental death.
And had this man no conscience? Since there was no chance of his being
brought to the bar of human justice, had he no fear of the great
Hereafter? He had none. He could meet it, whatever it was, without
flinching. If he did not altogether disbelieve in a future existence,
he was at any rate firmly convinced that for himself it could hold no
worse state of things than did the present. That was impossible, for he
was utterly without hope in the world.
And now he had made up his mind to leave Battisford. He had remained
there long enough to avoid the suspicion that would inevitably have
attached to a casual stranger coming and going coincidently with the
fatality--now he would go. He had not seen Olive Ingelow since the
brief glimpse he had obtained of her in the lamp-lit street that fateful
evening, and it was better so. He was hard as adamant now, cold,
stony--all his natural impulses petrified at their source. One glance
into those sweet eyes: one pitiful, tender tone of the dear voice, and
all might be undone. He would soften again, melt for the time, and his
overthrow would be complete. No, he would not behold her face again,
but he would once more, and for the last time, revisit Wandsborough,
arriving towards nightfall, and then the next day he would leave the
scene of his wrecked life for ever.
There are some men whom one is constrained to believe were sent into the
world to enjoy prosperity, if only for the reason that they are so
woefully and completely unfitted to sustain adversity. We must fall
foul of another popular cant in asserting that adversity does not
strengthen them, neither does it bring out sterling qualities which
otherwise would never have seen the light. In no way does it benefit
them; on the contrary, they succumb to it and sink down, down, lower and
lower, till their ruin is complete. In some occult way this may be a
Providential dispensation; we are told that everything is; but, if so,
why then to the observer of human nature is it of all things the most
marvellous?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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