He looked hard at her immovable face, with its fallen eyes, and then
went out of the room. He never quarrelled with his mother, because his
anger, like her own, was dumb, and silenced him as it mounted. Her
misgivings had stung him deeply, and at the bottom of his indolence and
indifference was a fiery pride, not easily kindled, but unquenchable.
He flung the harness upon his old unkempt horse, and tackled him to the
mud-encrusted buggy, for whose shabbiness he had never cared before. He
was tempted to go back into the house, and change his uncouth Canada
homespun coat for the broadcloth frock which he wore when he went to
Boston; but he scornfully resisted it, and drove off in his accustomed
figure.
His mother’s last words repeated themselves to him, and in that
dialogue, in which he continued to dramatize their different feelings,
he kept replying, “Well, the way to find out whether she cares is to
ask her.”
X.
During her convalescence Mrs. Maynard had the time and inclination to
give Grace some good advice. She said that she had thought a great deal
about it throughout her sickness, and she had come to the conclusion
that Grace was throwing away her life.
“You’re not fit to be a doctor, Grace,” she said. “You’re too nervous,
and you’re too conscientious. It isn’t merely your want of experience.
No matter how much experience you had, if you saw a case going wrong in
your hands, you’d want to call in some one else to set it right. Do you
suppose Dr. Mulbridge would have given me up to another doctor because
he was afraid he couldn’t cure me? No, indeed! He’d have let me die
first, and I shouldn’t have blamed him. Of course I know what pressure
I brought to bear upon you, but you had no business to mind me. You
oughtn’t to have minded my talk any more than the buzzing of a
mosquito, and no real doctor would. If he wants to be a success, he
must be hard-hearted; as hard-hearted as”—she paused for a comparison,
and failing any other added—“as all possessed.” To the like
large-minded and impartial effect, she, ran on at great length. “No,
Grace,” she concluded, “what you want to do is to get married. You
would be a good wife, and you would be a good mother. The only trouble
is that I don’t know any man worthy of you, or half worthy. No, I
don’t!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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