Had she forgotten Paul and all their long walks and talks, all the
devotion which he had proffered her, all her acknowledgments of regard
for him? Had his image faded out of her heart during his absence, and
was it there replaced by another and less worthy one? Not the least
in the world; only that the absence of her lover had given the girl
breathing space, as it were, to look around her, and to estimate her
present position and her future chances at their actual value. And when
thus seriously estimated, she found that the devotion which Paul had
proffered her was, to her thinking, not worth very much; it was not
sufficient to induce him to pledge himself to marry her: it was not
sufficient to induce him boldly to defy the opinion of the world, and
break off those shackles of family and society by which he was bound
hand and foot; it was only sufficient for him to give up a certain
portion of his time to be passed in her company, which was after all a
sufficiently selfish pleasure, as it pleased him as much as it did her.
And then, after all, what was to be the result?
In the early days of their acquaintance, before he knew the character
of the girl he had to deal with, Paul had given certain hints which
Daisy had rigidly ignored, or when compelled to hear them, had
forbidden to be repeated; but since then they had been going on in
a vague purposeless way; and though the boy-and-girl attachment,
the stolen meetings, the letters, and the knowledge that they loved
each other, were in themselves sufficient, and would last for ever,
due consideration gave Daisy no clue to the probable result of that
connection. And yet she loved Paul; had no idea how much she loved him
until she was thinking over what her future, what a portion of her
future at least, might be if passed with somebody else.
If passed with somebody else? There could be no doubt about what was
intended, though he had never said a word, or given the slightest hint.
The conversation of her employer--who, as Daisy was clear-headed and
keen-witted enough to see, was in the Colonel's confidence--was full of
subtle meaning. No need for the Frenchwoman to enlarge to Daisy on what
she meant by the golden opportunity; no need for her to dwell upon the
comforts and luxuries which were easily procurable by her--the dresses
and equipages, the pomps and vanities which so many wasted their lives
in endeavouring to obtain, and which might be hers at once.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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