Paul did not like the tone of this letter. It was certainly much
cooler than that of any of the little notes--there were but very few
of them--which he had received from Daisy since the commencement of
their acquaintance. He did not believe in the excuse one bit. Even in
the height of the season she had always managed to get out and see him
for a few minutes once or twice a week. Then, as to Madame Clarisse's
absence and Daisy's consequent responsibility, did not the very fact of
her being at the head of affairs prove that she was her own mistress,
and able to dispose of her own time as she pleased?
There was something at the bottom of it all, Paul thought, which he
had not yet fathomed. There was a change in her; that could not be
denied--a strange inexplicable change. The girl he met on his return
from the country, and who came to him listlessly, with an evident air
of preoccupation, which she endeavoured to hide, and with an assumed
air of pleasure at his return, which was so ill-assumed as to be very
easily seen through, was a totally different being from the loving,
teasing, half-coy, half-wayward girl whom he had left behind him.
Paul set himself to work to trace the commencement of this change, and
after long cogitation decided that it must have been worked during his
absence. What caused it, then? Certainly it arose from no fault of
his. He could not charge himself in the slightest degree with neglect
of her. He had written to her constantly, freely, and lovingly. He had
gone away protesting against his enforced absence; his letters had been
filled with joyous expectation of renewed delight at meeting her again;
and when he had met her, the warmth of his passion for her, so far
from being diminished one jot, had increased and expanded. So that the
alteration of their position towards each other which had so evidently
come about was her doing, and not his.
In his self-examination, Paul went through all the different phases
of the feeling by which he had been actuated towards this girl. He
recalled to himself how that at first, dazzled and captivated by her
beauty, he had only thought of making her acquaintance, without the
idea of any definite end; how that end had in his mind soon taken a
form which, though not unnatural in a young man carelessly brought up,
and living the loose life which he then led, he now blushed to recall.
He recollected the grave displeasure quietly but firmly expressed by
Daisy when she saw, as she very speedily did, the position which he
proposed for her. And then his mind dwelt on that delicious period when
there was no question of what might happen in the future, when they
enjoyed and lived in the present, and it was sufficient and all in all
to them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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