When George Wainwright left the presence of the strange old German
doctor, upon whom he had looked with an almost awful anxiety, a
half-superstitious hope, it was with an acute sense of disappointment,
such as had rarely stung the young man's ordinarily placid and
well-disciplined mind. He had the profoundest respect for his father's
opinion, the most implicit reliance on his father's judgment; and from
the sentence which pronounced the case of Annette hopeless, except
under those conditions whose fulfilment he now found it impossible to
procure, he never thought of appealing. His father--of whose science
in theory, of whose skill in practice, his own experience had offered
him innumerable instances--had told him, with genuine concern and with
true sympathy, rather than the more formal paternal manner it was the
doctor's custom to exhibit towards his son, that this one only hope
existed, this solitary chance presented itself. He had caught at the
hope; he had endeavoured to reduce the chance to practice; and he had
failed.
There was bitterness, there was agony, in the conviction, such as had
never fallen to the lot of George Wainwright before, though life had
brought him some of those experiences which Mr. Dunlop was wont to
designate as "twisters" too. But then so much depends on the direction,
the strength, and the duration of the "twist," and there are some so
easily gotten over.
This, however, was not one of them; and George's heart was sorely
wrung. The pain was directed cunningly, and strongly applied, and
as for its duration--well, George believed, as we all believe when
suffering is very keen and very fresh, that it was going to be
everlasting. It couldn't be otherwise, indeed, in the sense in which
"everlasting" applies itself to this mortal individual life; for did
it not mean that the woman he loved, the one woman he really loved
and longed for, was doomed for her term of terrestrial existence to
the saddest of all destinies, which included utter separation from
him? While they both lived, if that fiat should remain unaltered, how
should his sorrow be less than everlasting? If it be true that there
are certain kinds of trouble, and sharp trouble too, to which men and
women do become accustomed, of a surety this was not one of them,
but trouble of a vital kind, full of murmuring, of wretchedness, and
regret. So long as they both should live--he a sane man, loving this
periodically-insane woman as he loved her, with a strong passionate
attachment, by no means deficient in the conservative element of
intellectual attraction--whence should the alleviation come?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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