"Nothing!" repeated George, in a tone of remonstrance--"nothing! Will
that suffice for her, for you, or for _him?_" He pointed to Paul. "Do
you not know the hope, the confidence, to which your presence here, the
noble act you have done in coming to him in this terrible extremity,
must give rise? Do you not feel that this is decisive, that henceforth
every consideration must be abandoned by each of you, for the life
which must be lived together?"
It passed swiftly through Daisy's mind that if ever Paul had so
pleaded his own cause, with so much conviction, so much force, so much
earnestness--if ever he had made her understand the worth of true love,
the false _allures_ of all beside--she would not have listened to
prudence and the narrow suggestions of her worldly wisdom, but would
have listened to him. It passed through her mind that this was a strong
man, one who would love well and worthily, and whose wife would be
honoured among women, whatever her origin. But she answered him coldly,
though his words were utterly persuasive.
"I cannot tell you to answer for the future, Mr. Wainwright. That
question cannot be answered until it has been asked by Paul. If he
lives, he will ask it; if he dies, Mrs. Derinzy will not require to
know anything about me."
"Be it so," said George emphatically. "I shall go there at once, and
see you again this evening. Goodbye, Miss Stafford, and God bless you!
You are doing the right thing now, at all events."
Again she simply bent her head without speaking, and without turning
her eyes from the sick man's face. George left the room with a
noiseless step. When he had reached the stair-foot, Daisy covered her
face with her hands, and rocked herself upon her chair, in an agony of
self-upbraiding.
"If he lives, he will ask me," she murmured in her torturing thoughts.
"Yes, he will ask me; and I--I who a little while ago was unfit to be
his wife only because of the difference in our rank--what shall I say?
Far other my unfitness now--the unfitness of one who has deliberately
entertained the project of degradation. Am I, who have chaffered with
that vile old man about the terms on which I might be induced to become
his mistress, fit to be that trusting boy's wife? Oh mother, mother!
this is the result of your calculation, your worldly instructions! Yet
no; why should I blame _her?_ It is the outcome of my life, of the sort
of thing I have seen and known since my childhood. Oh, my God! my God!
how foolish, how mad, how wicked I have been!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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