Dream Life: A Fable of the SeasonsMitchell, Donald Grant
General
Dream Life: A Fable of the Seasons
Mitchell, Donald Grant
Essays; Life
And yet there are some things that puzzle you in Nelly. You have found
accidentally, in one of her treasured books,--a book that lies almost
always on her dressing-table,--a little withered flower with its stem in
a slip of paper, and on the paper the initials of--your old friend
Frank. You recall, in connection with this, her indisposition to talk of
him on the first evening of your return. It seems--you scarce know
why--that these are the tokens of something very like a leaning of the
heart. It does occur to you that she too may have her little casket of
loves; and you try one day very adroitly to take a look into this
casket.
----You will learn later in life that the heart of a modest, gentle
girl is a very hard matter for even a brother to probe; it is at once
the most tender and the most unapproachable of all fastnesses. It admits
feeling by armies, with great trains of artillery,--but not a single
scout. It is as calm and pure as polar snows; but deep underneath, where
no footsteps have gone, and where no eye can reach but one, lies the
warm and the throbbing earth.
Make what you will of the slight, quivering blushes, and of the half
broken expressions,--more you cannot get. The love that a
delicate-minded girl will tell is a short-sighted and outside love; but
the love that she cherishes without voice or token is a love that will
mould her secret sympathies, and her deepest, fondest yearnings, either
to a quiet world of joy, or to a world of placid sufferance. The true
voice of her love she will keep back long and late, fearful ever of her
most prized jewel,--fearful to strange sensitiveness; she will show
kindness, but the opening of the real floodgates of the heart, and the
utterance of those impassioned yearnings which belong to its nature,
come far later. And fearful, thrice fearful is the shock, if these flow
out unmet!
That deep, thrilling voice, bearing all the perfume of the womanly soul
in its flow, rarely finds utterance; and if uttered vainly,--if called
out by tempting devices, and by a trust that is abused,--desolate indeed
is the maiden heart, widowed of its chastest thought! The soul shrinks
affrighted within itself. Like a tired bird lost at sea, fluttering
around what seem friendly boughs, it stoops at length, and finding only
cold, slippery spars, with no bloom and no foliage,--its last hope
gone,--it sinks to a wild ocean grave!
Nelly--and the thought brings a tear of sympathy to your eye--must have
such a heart; it speaks in every shadow of her action. And this very
delicacy seems to lend her a charm that would make her a wife to be
loved and honored.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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