Dream Life: A Fable of the SeasonsMitchell, Donald Grant
General
Dream Life: A Fable of the Seasons
Mitchell, Donald Grant
Essays; Life
The sky is rich--all mottled with cold, gray streaks of cloud. The old
apple-women, with their noses frostbitten, look cheerful and blue. The
ragged immigrants, in short trousers and bell-crowned hats, stalk about
with a very happy expression, and very short-stemmed pipes; their
yellow-haired babies look comfortably red and glowing. And the trees
with their scant, pinched foliage have a charming, summer-like effect!
Amid it all the thoughts of the boudoir, and harpsichord, and
goldfinches, and Axminster carpets, and sunshine, and Laura, are so
very, very pleasant! How delighted you would be to see her married to
the stout man in the red cravat, who gave her bouquets, and strolled
with her on the deck of the steamer upon the St. Lawrence! What a
jaunty, self-satisfied air he wore; and with what considerate
forbearance he treated you--calling you once or twice Master Clarence!
It never occurred to you before, how much you must be indebted to that
pleasant, stout man.
You try sadly to be cheerful; you smile oddly; your pride comes strongly
to your help, but yet helps you very little. It is not so much a broken
heart that you have to mourn over, as a broken dream. You seem to see in
a hundred ways, that had never occurred to you before, the marks of her
superior age. Above all it is manifest in the cool and unimpassioned
tone of her letter. Yet how kindly withal! It would be a relief to be
angry.
New visions come to you, wakened by the broken fancy which has just now
eluded your grasp. You will make yourself, if not old, at least gifted
with the force and dignity of age. You will be a man, and build no more
castles until you can people them with men! In an excess of pride you
even take umbrage at the sex; they can have little appreciation of that
engrossing tenderness of which you feel yourself to be capable. Love
shall henceforth be dead, and you will live boldly without it.
----Just so, when some dark, eastern cloud-bank shrouds for a morning
the sun of later August, we say in our shivering pride--the winter is
come early! But God manages the seasons better than we; and in a day, or
an hour perhaps, the cloud will pass, and the heavens glow again upon
our ungrateful heads.
* * * * *
Well it is even so, that the passionate dreams of youth break up and
wither. Vanity becomes tempered with wholesome pride; and passion yields
to the riper judgment of manhood,--even as the August heats pass on,
and over, into the genial glow of a September sun. There is a strong
growth in the struggles against mortified pride; and then only does the
youth get an ennobling consciousness of that manhood which is dawning in
him, when he has fairly surmounted those puny vexations which a wounded
vanity creates.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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