sitting to him. What ardor, too, for the newest science, what worship
of Descartes and deprecation of the philosophers before him! And then
the flavor of romance--as of their own spices--wafted from the talk
about the new Colonies in the Indies! Good God! had it been so wise to
quench the glow of youth, to slip so silently to forty year? He had
allowed her to drop out of his life--this child so early grown to
winning womanhood--she was apparently dead for him, yet this sudden
idea of her proximity had revitalized her so triumphantly that the
philosopher wondered at the miracle, or at his own powers of
self-deception.
And who was this young man?
Had he analyzed love correctly? He turned to Proposition xxxiii. "If
we love a thing which is like ourselves we endeavor as much as
possible to make it love us in return." His eye ran over the proof
with its impressive summing-up. "Or in other words (Schol. Prop,
xiii., pt. 3), we try to make it love us in return." Unimpeachable
logic, but was it true? Had he tried to make Klaartje love him in
return? Not unless one counted the semi-conscious advances of
wit-combats and intellectual confidences as she grew up! But had he
succeeded? No, impossible, and his spirits fell, and mounted again to
note how truly their falling corroborated--by converse reasoning--his
next Proposition. "The greater the affect with which we imagine that a
beloved object is affected towards us, the greater will be our
self-exaltation," No, she had never given him cause for
self-exaltation, though occasionally it seemed as if she preferred his
talk to that of even the high-born, foppish youths sent by their sires
to sit at her father's feet.
In any case perhaps it was well he had given her maidenly modesty no
chance of confession. Marriage had never loomed as a possibility for
him--the life of the thinker must needs shrink from the complications
and prejudices engendered by domestic happiness: the intellectual love
of God more than replaced these terrestrial affections.
But now a sudden conviction that nothing could replace them, that they
were of the essence of personality, wrapped him round as with flame.
Some subtle aroma of emotion like the waft of the orange-groves of
Burgos in which his ancestors had wandered thrilled the son of the
mists and marshes. Perhaps it was only the conserve of red roses. At
any rate that was useless in this fever.
He took up his tools resolutely, but he could not work. He fell back
on his rough sketch for a lucid Algebra, but his lucid formulæ were a
blur. He went downstairs and played with the delighted children and
listened to the landlady's gossip, throwing her a word or two of
shrewd counsel on the everyday matters that came up. Presently he
asked her if the van den Endes had told her anything of their plans.
"Oh, they were going to stay at Scheveningen for the bathing. The
second time they came up from there."
His heart leapt. "Scheveningen! Then they are practically here."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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