He answered in a strange mixture of jargons, blurring his meaning
hopelessly with scraps of Hebrew, of Jewish-German, of Polish, of
Russian and mis-punctuating it with choking sobs and gasps. One good
soul after another turned away helpless. The stout roll of Hebrew
manuscript the swarthy, unkempt creature clutched in his hand grew
grimier with tears. The soldiers on guard surveyed him with
professional callousness.
Only the heart of the writhing wretch knew its own bitterness, only
those tear-blinded eyes saw the pitiful panorama of a penurious Jew's
struggle for Culture. For, nursed in a narrow creed, he had dreamt the
dream of Knowledge. To know--to know--was the passion that consumed
him: to understand the meaning of life and the causes of things.
He saw himself a child again in Poland, in days of comparative
affluence, clad in his little damask suit, shocking his father with a
question at the very first verse of the Bible, which they began to
read together when he was six years old, and which held many a box on
the ear in store for his ingenuous intellect. He remembered his early
efforts to imitate with chalk or charcoal the woodcuts of birds or
foliage happily discovered on the title-pages of dry-as-dust Hebrew
books; how he used to steal into the unoccupied, unfurnished
manor-house and copy the figures on the tapestries, standing in
midwinter, half-frozen, the paper in one hand, the pencil in the
other; and how, when these artistic enthusiasms were sternly if
admiringly checked by a father intent on siring a Rabbi, he relieved
the dreary dialectics of the Talmud--so tedious to a child
uninterested in divorce laws or the number of white hairs permissible
in a red cow--by surreptitious nocturnal perusal of a precious store
of Hebrew scientific and historical works discovered in an old
cupboard in his father's study. To this chamber, which had also served
as the bedroom in which the child slept with his grandmother, the
young man's thoughts returned with wistful bitterness, and at the
image of the innocent little figure poring over the musty volumes by
the flickering firelight in the silence of the night, the mass of rags
heaved yet more convulsively. How he had enjoyed putting on fresh wood
after his grandmother had gone to bed, and grappling with the
astronomical treatise, ignoring the grumblings of the poor old lady
who lay a-cold for want of him. Ah, the lonely little boy was, indeed,
in Heaven, treading the celestial circles--and by stealth, which made
it all the sweeter. But that armillary sphere he had so ably made for
himself out of twisted rods had undone him: his grandmother, terrified
by the child's interest in these mystic convolutions, had betrayed
the magical instrument to his father. Other episodes of the long
pursuit of Knowledge--not to be impeded even by flogging pedagogues,
diverted but slightly by marriage at the age of eleven,--crossed his
mind. What ineffable rapture the first reading of Maimonides had
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account