"Yes, friend Satan, the child _wills_! A drop of your diabolical blood
has passed into her veins. I am yours for life. But first try
reasonable means. Make my parents' acquaintance, cover up your horns
and tail, try and win me like a bourgeois. If that fails, there is
always Egypt. But quick, quick: I cannot bear scenes and delays and
comments. Once we are married, let society stare. With you to lean on
I snap my fingers at the world. The obstacles are gigantic, but you
are also a giant, who with God's help smashes rocks to sand, that even
my breath can blow away. I must stab the beautiful dream of a noble
youth, but even this--frightfully painful for me as it is--I do for
you. I say nothing of the disappointment to my parents, of the pain of
all I love and respect. I am writing to Holthoff, my father-confessor.
We must have him for us, with us, near us. God has destined us for
each other."
A telegram replied: "Bravissimo! I am on my way to join you."
And to the Countess, fighting rheumatism at the waters of Wildbad in
the Black Forest, he wrote: "The rain has passed, the long fog has
gone. The mountains stand out mighty and dazzling, peak beyond peak,
like the heights of a life. What a sunset! The Eiger seemed wrapped in
a vapor of burning gold. My sufferings are nearly all wiped out. I am
joyous, full of life and love. And I have also finished at last with
that terrible correspondence for the Union. Seventy-six pages of
minute writing have I sent to Berlin yesterday and to-day, and I
breathe again. In my yesterday's letter I broke Helene to you. It is
extraordinarily fortunate that on the verge of forty I should be able
to find a wife so beautiful, so sympathetic, who loves me so much, and
who, as you and I agreed was indispensable, is entirely absorbed in my
personality. In your last letter you throw cold water on my proposed
journey to Hamburg; and perhaps you are right in thinking the coup I
planned not so great and critical as I have been imagining. But how
you misunderstand my motives when you write: 'Cannot you, till your
health is re-established, find contentment for a while in science, in
friendship, in Nature?' You think politics the breath of my nostrils.
Ah, how little you are _au fait_ with me! I desire nothing more
ardently than to be quite rid of all politics, and to devote myself to
science, friendship, and Nature. I am sick and tired of politics.
Truly I would burn as passionately for them as any one, if there were
anything serious to be done, or if I had the power or saw the means, a
means worthy of me; for without supreme power nothing can be done. For
child's play, however, I am too old and too great. That is why I very
reluctantly undertook the Presidentship. I only yielded to you, and
that is why it now weighs upon me terribly. If I were but rid of it,
this were the moment I should choose to go to Naples with you. But how
to get rid of it? For events, I fear, will develop slowly, so slowly,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account