Dreamthorp : $b A book of essays written in the countrySmith, Alexander
General
Dreamthorp : $b A book of essays written in the country
Smith, Alexander
Essays
Most men seek solitude from wounded vanity, from disappointed ambition,
from a miscarriage in the passions; but some others from native
instinct, as a duckling seeks water. I have taken to my solitude, such
as it is, from an indolent turn of mind, and this solitude I sweeten by
an imaginative sympathy which re-creates the past for me,--the past of
the world, as well as the past which belongs to me as an
individual,--and which makes me independent of the passing moment. I
see every one struggling after the unattainable, but I struggle not,
and so spare myself the pangs of disappointment and disgust. I have no
ventures at sea, and, consequently, do not fear the arrival of evil
tidings. I have no desire to act any prominent part in the world, but
I am devoured by an unappeasable curiosity as to the men who do act. I
am not an actor, I am a spectator only. My sole occupation is
sight-seeing. In a certain imperial idleness, I amuse myself with the
world. Ambition! What do I care for ambition? The oyster with much
pain produces its pearl. I take the pearl. Why should I produce one
after this miserable, painful fashion? It would be but a flawed one,
at best. These pearls I can pick up by the dozen. The production of
them is going on all around me, and there will be a nice crop for the
solitary man of the next century. Look at a certain silent emperor,
for instance: a hundred years hence _his_ pearl will be handed about
from hand to hand; will be curiously scrutinised and valued; will be
set in its place in the world's cabinet. I confess I should like to
see the completion of that filmy orb. Will it be pure in colour? Will
its purity be marred by an ominous bloody streak? Of this I am
certain, that in the cabinet in which the world keeps these peculiar
treasures, no one will be looked at more frequently, or will provoke a
greater variety of opinions as to its intrinsic worth. Why should I be
ambitious? Shall I write verses? I am not likely to surpass Mr.
Tennyson or Mr. Browning in that walk. Shall I be a musician? The
blackbird singing this moment somewhere in my garden shrubbery puts me
to instant shame. Shall I paint? The intensest scarlet on an artist's
palette is but ochre to that I saw this morning at sunrise. No, no,
let me enjoy Mr. Tennyson's verse, and the blackbird's song, and the
colours of sunrise, but do not let me emulate them. I am happier as it
is. I do not need to make history,--there are plenty of people willing
to save me trouble on that score. The cook makes the dinner, the guest
eats it; and the last, not without reason, is considered the happier
man.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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