He went closer to his brother as he spoke, and flung his arm round him
with all the abandon of one who was altogether carried out of himself.
I did not speak. I felt alone again, outside my brothers and their
love; but just because I was so alone I thought more than ever of my
father. I had rushed away from Paris to be in time; I would see him
again. I left the room and crept softly upstairs. All day long I had
been wearing my travelling-boots; it did not seem worth while to take
them off; nobody had given me a thought. For the first time since my
step-mother came I had been neglected in our now comfortable home.
When I reached the landing where the great, desolate room which had been
made so comfortable by my step-mother was situated, I took off my shoes
and stood very quiet. I saw that the door of my father's room was
slightly ajar. Inside there was the flickering light of a fire--not a
very big fire; there was a screen round the bed. I felt more and more a
keen and passionate desire to enter the room. I could bear it no
longer. I crept inside the door and round by the screen. Then I saw
that the room had been changed since I had noticed it last. The great
four-poster was removed, and a man was lying on a little iron bedstead
drawn out almost into the middle of the room. There was a woman seated
close to him. She sat very still; she did not seem to move. The man
also, who was lying on his back, was motionless. A wild terror seized
me. Was he dead? Oh! I feared death at that moment, but still that
impulse, uncontrollable, growing stronger each moment, compelled me
forward, and still more forward, and at last I came very near the woman.
She roused herself when she saw me. There was no reproach of any sort
on her face. It was very white, but her eyes had never looked sweeter.
Just for an instant I wondered if she would rise and take me by the hand
and lead me from the room; but, instead of that, she held out her hand
to me and drew me close, and motioned to me to kneel by the bed. I did
kneel. I heard the quick breathing, and noticed the cadaverous, worn
face, the dark lashes lying on the cheeks, the hair tossed back from the
lofty and magnificent brow. Something seemed to clutch at my heart;
then my step-mother's voice sounded in my ears:
"You and I will watch by him together."
After that I felt that nothing really mattered; and I knew also that the
barrier between my step-mother's heart and mine had vanished. I looked
at her; my eyes were full; I took her hand and, stooping, kissed it
several times. Then she too dropped on her knees, and we remained
motionless together.
All night long we knelt by the Professor's side, and all night long he
slept. It was about five in the morning when he opened his eyes. Dr
Robinson was standing by the other side of the bed; he was holding his
hand and feeling his pulse.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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