Bildungsromans; Psychological fiction; Young women -- Fiction
About Martin: I thought you would like to know. They found his body
on the beach two days later; and took him home and buried him
beside his father. He had been cheerful all the time, enjoying his
sailing; and went out in high spirits on the day of the accident.
You must not grieve about him. He doesn’t know he was young and
loved life and now can’t love it any more. He won’t get old and
past loving it. He’ll never miss dead friends and lovers and long
in vain to follow them. Fortunate Martin to die before he wanted
to.... But there! These are empty consolations. I also loved my
Martin. We shall never see him again. It’s little comfort to tell
ourselves we shall stop missing him when we’re dead too. I am told
his mother is calm and courageous, fortified by a complete faith in
a loving God. Roddy I saw at the funeral, but had little speech
with. He looked unhappy. A brief note I had from him yesterday,
concerning the disposal of some of Martin’s things, remarks that it
is easily the worst thing that’s ever happened. This is the only
comment he has made or is likely to make--to me at least. He will
get over it. He is now in Scotland with friends, shooting. I give
you these tidings of him because I surmise that--you will like to
have them. But _I know nothing of all that_ ... nor do I wish to
know....
Ah, Judith, in spite of all I am very romantic and sentimental, and
I say to myself that I have my memories; and they cannot be taken
from me. You were very charming, very kind and tolerant. We did
some good things together--good vivid things: though I suppose the
fact of my physical presence never made them to you what yours made
them to me: a superb excitement and intoxication. Twenty years
hence when you’re long since married and have indulged your
deplorable philoprogenitiveness, and are stout, Judith, stout,
comfortable, domestic, I shall write one sentence upon a blank page
and send it to you:
_Do you remember an inn, Miranda,
Do you remember an inn?_
and perhaps--for one instant--you will stir in your fat and almost,
_almost_ remember?... But no! There spoke indeed the sentimental
egoist. For the inns you remember will not be those you visited
with me; and you have made it clear--haven’t you?--that I may never
call you Miranda. Besides, for my own part, like enough I shall by
then have forgotten the amenities of bathing and omelette-eating
and motoring by night, and disremembered all my apt quotations. You
will be a placid matron and I a gaunt, stringy and withered madman:
one of the kind with livid faces and blazing eyes, who dog young
women down lonely lanes. So _never more, Miranda, never more_....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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