Bildungsromans; Psychological fiction; Young women -- Fiction
He was going to be irresistible. Already something in her was starting
to leap up in response to him; and watching his face, she saw with a
terrible pang that it was true, unarguable, proved over again more
clearly than ever, that he had some quality which separated him from
everybody else in the whole world, startled the imagination and made him
of appalling significance to her.
‘I’m cold. Thank God for a good fire. It’s starting to snow.’ He flung
himself down on the hearth-rug. ‘Trust Martin to make a good thick
atmosphere with no beastly fresh air about it. Tea! Tea! Tea! Let me
make you some toast, Judy. I make it so well.’
While he toasted great hunks of bread, Martin buttered scones and cut
the cake, and Judith poured out tea.
They chattered, joked, teased each other. They played absurd drawing and
rhyming games. Judith made them laugh with malicious stories of dons and
students. Roddy threw back his head, his whole face wrinkled and
flattened with silent laughter, his eyes gleaming with amusement under
their lids. Martin stared, laughed, Ha! Ha!--stared again. They
encouraged her, listened to her, were delighted with her; and the old
sense of abnormal self-assurance grew within her taut mind.
At last she made herself look at the clock. So late! There would barely
be time to get back before Hall.
‘I’ve got a car outside,’ said Roddy carelessly. ‘I can run you out in
no time.’
He added, interrupting her thanks:
‘It isn’t mine, it’s got no hood, it always breaks down and it’s
hellishly uncomfortable, so I don’t advise it really.’
It sounded as if he were suddenly regretting his offer, trying to
withdraw it. She looked at him, all her confidence collapsing in a
moment. His face had become a mask.
She said swiftly:
‘If you would take me I should be very grateful.’ Her voice sounded to
herself strained, beseeching, horrible.
He bowed.
It took ten minutes to get the car started, with Martin and Roddy madly
swinging her by turns.
‘Good night, Martin. Thank you for my lovely tea party. I’ll see you
again soon, won’t I?’
He nodded, looking gravely down at her in the lamp-light.
‘Don’t catch cold,’ he said. There was something dejected about his
attitude, a flatness in his voice.... Things had gone wrong for him....
Ever since that panic-stricken voice had broken in on the laughter and
talk, the game for three, with its vibrating cry: “If you would take me
home ...” from that moment all had been faintly blown upon by a ruffle
of uneasy wind. They were no longer three persons, but two men and one
woman.
She knew it and loathed herself because Martin knew it too.
‘I’m due to dine with Tony in twenty minutes,’ said Roddy.... ‘You’d
better come along too. I’ll call for you on my way back. I shan’t be
long.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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