New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Romans à clef; Spouses -- Fiction; Women novelists -- Fiction
I saw that he had marked that in her bearing which had shaken him. It
was shocking for Eve, of all people, to show uncertainty of her powers;
but he had seen, as I gleaned, that it was uncertainty which was now
shaking the foundations on which her life had been built up. Without
her pride and joy in her talent, Eva would be a broken woman. He told
me that she had all at once cried, as if she had read his mind: “You
can’t take it in that something dreadful is happening inside me? You
can’t comprehend that an artist’s imagination is a delicate, brittle,
easily injured quality?” He had been thrown, by this, back to his cool
detachment; although it was not in a spirit of cool detachment that
he reënacted this scene for my benefit. He was immensely stirred by
the recollection of it. In his intelligence he understood only too
well that this was the pose of the creative worker in all arts save
architecture, but with his heart he realized that under her doubts
Eva’s beauty had faded. It began to seem to him that the conceit of
artists is a defence against their own fainting spirit, which otherwise
might cringe before the world’s neglect. But she had at once put it on
him; she had explained that she felt as if she were beating her head
against something more unyielding than the proverbial stone wall when
she tried to argue with him. She said it was the fixity of his smile.
“You don’t know how you stare at me!” she had said in what amounted to
a shriek.
“This was where I was cruel to her, Dinah--and I know it now. I suppose
I knew it then, and wanted to be cruel. You see, I don’t trust the
influence of that fellow Mapes. You can never put your finger on Eva’s
motives; they’re damned complex for a simple man to follow.”
“She is complex,” I put in. I wondered if he were going to regret
having told me this. But he had to tell someone: even men feel the
necessity to talk, I reflected derisively. “Her acts are necessarily
hard to understand, although I don’t doubt that they are simple, and
above board, if you could get at them.”
“Then what does she think--feel--about this Mapes fellow?” he asked
urgently, but looking ashamed of himself.
I explained that she respected his judgment of her work.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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