Keen and a footman were waiting for them at the door, and he was
carried up-stairs to rest as usual after his drive. Philippa followed,
and arranged his cushions and attended to his comfort in the way that
had become habitual to her, but she left him as quickly as she could
and sought the privacy of her own room. She wanted to be alone to
battle with the unexpected enemy which had in some unaccountable way
stormed the stronghold of her heart and threatened to lay it in ruins.
The words Marion had spoken--words which had been utterly unheeded at
the time--now battered for admission to the fortress and met with
slight resistance. "His love is not for you--every bit of the love in
his heart belongs to another woman." It was not true! It could not be
true! Francis loved her--now--to-day. What right had the woman who
had failed him to rob her, the living Philippa, of one corner of his
heart? For she wanted it all. She, by right of her love for him,
claimed his every thought, she could not spare one.
Phil had renounced her privilege, had thrown it aside as something of
no value, had broken the tie which bound her to Francis the first
moment that it galled. Could Philippa then be blamed if she had
riveted the chain afresh and possessed herself of what Phil had
discarded as worthless? Surely not. This was a point which Philippa
had considered thoroughly at the time of making her first decision. In
her first interview with Francis she had, as has been stated, blamed
herself for listening to words of love intended for another; but once
she had learned the rights of the whole affair she had altered her
opinion, and had deliberately set aside all thoughts of Phil. So
entirely had she identified herself with the woman whom Francis loved,
that she had ceased to allow her a separate individuality at all. She,
Philippa, was in effect that woman, as she was in reality the woman who
loved him. His allusions to Phil had never troubled her up to the
present, save, of course, that they required careful answering.
Marion's plain speaking had glanced off the armour of her security
without even denting it--why should she think of it now?
It was so dreadful to be jealous--she had always considered jealousy a
vulgar failing--and her face flushed with shame and humiliation that
she, who had always prided herself upon being above petty weakness,
should harbour so despicable a sentiment, and that of a dead woman.
And yet she could only acknowledge honestly that it was torture to her
to hear Francis speak of Phil in terms of such affection. Now that
this odious whisper had made itself heard, how could she submit to his
embrace? Could she ever forget? What could she do? Her deep,
passionate love craved for evidences of his in return. Was this
horrible ghost always to stand between them?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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