Eben Holden: A Tale of the North CountryBacheller, Irving
General
Eben Holden: A Tale of the North Country
Bacheller, Irving
Farm life -- Fiction; Historical fiction; New York (State) -- Fiction
You see the Sophs are apt to be very nasty that day,' he continued.
I acknowledged they were quite capable of it.
'And they don't care where they hit,' he went on.
I felt of my head that was still sore, from a forceful argument of the
preceding day, and admitted there was good ground for the assertion.
When I met my classmen, that afternoon, I was an advocate of the
'stove-pipe' as a means of protection. There were a number of husky
fellows, in my class, who saw its resisting power and seconded my
suggestion. We decided to leave it to the ladies of the class and they
greeted our plan with applause. So, that morning, we arrayed ourselves
in high hats, heavy canes and fine linen, marching together up College
Hill. We had hardly entered the gate before we saw the Sophs forming
in a thick rank outside the door prepared, as we took it, to resist our
entrance. They out-numbered us and were, in the main, heavier but we
had a foot or more of good stiff material between each head and harm. Of
just what befell us, when we got to the enemy, I have never felt sure.
Of the total inefficiency of the stove-pipe hat as an article of armour,
I have never had the slightest doubt since then. There was a great flash
and rattle of canes. Then the air was full of us. In the heat of it all
prudence went to the winds. We hit out right and left, on both sides,
smashing hats and bruising heads and hands. The canes went down in a
jiffy and then we closed with each other hip and thigh. Collars were
ripped off, coats were torn, shirts were gory from the blood of noses,
and in this condition the most of us were rolling and tumbling on the
ground. I had flung a man, heavily, and broke away and was tackling
another when I heard a hush in the tumult and then the voice of the
president. He stood on the high steps, his grey head bare, his right
hand lifted. It must have looked like carnage from where he stood.
'Young gentlemen!' he called. 'Cease, I command you. If we cannot get
along without this thing we will shut up shop.'
Well, that was the end of it and came near being the end of our careers
in college. We looked at each other, torn and panting and bloody, and
at the girls, who stood by, pale with alarm. Then we picked up the
shapeless hats and went away for repairs. I had heard that the path of
learning was long and beset with peril but I hoped, not without reason,
the worst was over. As I went off the campus the top of my hat was
hanging over my left ear, my collar and cravat were turned awry, my
trousers gaped over one knee. I was talking with a fellow sufferer and
patching the skin on my knuckles, when suddenly I met Uncle Eb.
'By the Lord Harry!' he said, looking me over from top to toe, 'teacher
up there mus' be purty ha'sh.'
'It wa'n't the teacher,' I said.
'Must have fit then.'
'Fit hard,' I answered, laughing.
'Try t' walk on ye?'
'Tried t' walk on me. Took several steps too,' I said stooping to brush
my trousers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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