Of such familiarity Scottish churches furnish well-nigh innumerable instances. One or two will, however, be sufficient for my purpose. The clergyman who was expected to conduct the morning service had not made his appearance at the appointed time. After a dreadful suspense of some fifteen minutes the beadle, that much-privileged individual, entered the church, marched slowly along the accustomed passage, and mounted the pulpit-stair. When half-way up he stopped, turned to the congregation, and thus addressed them: "There was one Alexander to hae preached here the day, but he's neither come hissel; nor has he sent the scrape o' a pen to say what's come owre him. Ye'd better keep your seats for anither ten meenits to see whether the body turns up or no. If he disna come, there's naething for 't but for ye a' to gang hame again an' say naething mair aboot it. The like o' this hasna happened here syne I hae been conneckit wi' the place, an' that's mair than four-and-thirty year now." As an announcement to the point, and for the purpose, that could not easily be beaten. A clergyman of Crossmichael, in Galloway, would even intersperse his lessons or sermon with any announcement that might at the moment occur to him, or with allusions to the behaviour of his hearers. Once, because of this method, a verse from Exodus was hardly recognisable. The version given was as follows: "And the Lord said unto Moses--shut that door; I'm thinkin' if ye had to sit beside that door yersel', ye wadna be sae ready leavin' it open; it was just beside that door that Yedam Tamson, the bellman, gat his death o' cauld, an' I'm sure, honest man, he didna lat it stey muckle open.--And the Lord said unto Moses--put oot that dog; wha is't that brings dogs to the kirk, yaff-yaffin'? Lat me never see ye bring yer dogs here ony mair, for, if ye do, tak notice, I'll put you an' them baith oot.--And the Lord said unto Moses--I see a man aneeth that wast laft wi' his hat on; I'm sure ye're cleen oot o' the souch o' the door; keep aff yer bonnet, Tammas, an' if yer bare pow be cauld, ye maun jist get a grey worset wig like mysel'; they're no sae dear; plenty o' them at Bob Gillespie's for tenpence." At last, however, the preacher informed his hearers what was said to Moses in a manner at once more accurate and becoming.